Gone
by winterangel06
Summary: John and Natalie story that is set five years in the future. John left town leaving Natalie alone. But when the life she had built for herself is ripped apart will he come back?
1. Chapter One

**Chapter One **

**February 2006 **

It was now or never.

Mustering up all the courage within her, Natalie Buchanan looked down at the pregnancy test she was holding in her shaky hands.

It was positive.

Drawing in a sharp breath, Natalie all but fell onto her bed as the stick fell out of her hands. She was going to be a mother.

After three months of being constantly tired, run down and often nauseous it had finally dawned upon her that those missed periods may not have just been caused by stress.

Natalie sat there alone and in shock for almost an hour until she reached a decision. Regardless of what their current situation was, she had to tell him. She knew it wouldn't be an easy task, as just yesterday they had had an awful fight – one which ended with an awful lie on her part – she had told him she hated him. Of course Natalie hadn't meant it, but John hadn't given her a chance to explain. Grabbing her purse and jacket, Natalie jumped up from the bed and rushed from the room… she knew where to find him.

Taking a shaky breath, Natalie raised her hand and knocked loudly on the hotel room door, still unprepared for the conversation that lay ahead. However nothing in the world could have prepared her for the sight she was about to see.

When the door swung open it wasn't John she faced, but Michael.

At first Natalie that didn't register as odd – until she looked past him and realized that John's apartment had been stripped bare.

He was gone.


	2. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

**October 2010**

"And Cinderella and Prince charming lived happily ever after, the end." Reaching across her bed, Natalie placed the tattered book on her bedside table and looked down at her twin daughters who sat on either side of her. "Come on girls, it's time for bed."

The Buchanan family had just finished up their nightly ritual. Each night before bed they would all brush their teeth, change into their pajamas and then prop themselves up in Natalie's bed as she read to them.

The small red-head on the left looked up at her mother with big blue eyes. "Mommy, do you think every little girl grows up and lives happily ever after?" She asked, her little voice dreamy.

Thinking about her own childhood, Natalie smiled down at Sydney Anne Buchanan and pulled her closer. "Yes, I do sweetheart."

"Well I don't." Another voice piped up.

Biting back a smile Natalie looked to the right of her and glanced down at Eve Victoria Buchanan, who sat with her arms folded defiantly across her chest. "You don't? Why not honey?" Natalie asked as she began to stroke Eve's long, brown hair.

Eve's blue eyes met Natalie's. "Well you don't have a prince charming mommy."

Though, Natalie was completely caught off guard by her daughter's innocent observation, she managed to recover quickly. "But I have you girls don't I? That's my happily ever after right there." Natalie scrunched up her nose in mock horror. "Plus boys are yucky anyway aren't they?" She said quoting what the girls had said the week before after spending time with their cousins Ryan and Josh McBain.

Both girls laughed at their mother's funny face, and Eve seemed satisfied by the answer. Despite being twins, Eve and Sydney were as different as night and day. Sydney was the most like Natalie, right down to having the stereotypical 'short temper' that went along with being a redhead. She was determined, stubborn, curious, funny, and often dreamy and the one that tended to give Natalie the most trouble. Eve on the other hand was just like her father… observant, protective, quiet and sometimes slightly cynical for her young age of four. But despite all their inherited personality traits, the girls were almost always happy, polite, and incredibly close to each other, and to their mother.

Natalie ushered the twins off her bed and followed them down the hall to their room. Despite the fact there were four bedrooms in the house, Sydney and Eve had insisted they wanted to share a room – though Natalie suspected it was more Eve going along with it knowing Sydney was still scared of the dark. After helping them into their matching beds, Natalie kissed them goodnight and made her way downstairs, her mind still on what Eve had said.

Her daughter had a point – Natalie hadn't gotten a chance at happily ever after with her own Prince Charming because he had left town without even a second glance. After that night she showed up at John's apartment and found him gone, Natalie had spent nearly a year trying to track him down. She knew what it was like to grow up without a father, and despite everything Natalie hadn't wanted to do the same to her daughters. So she hired PI's, did internet searches, and even had Rex following leads for her… but nothing.

It was as if John had disappeared off the face of the earth.

Once the twins were born Natalie had her hands full and little time for anything else, so she had given up and left the matter in the hands of Michael and Eve – both of which who played a large role in their lives. Eve, who just adored her two granddaughters had made the trip from Atlantic City to Llanview several times a month for the first few years of their lives. However, once Marcie and Michael were married and had Josh and Ryan, Eve had decided to permanently move to Llanview so she could be closer to her grandchildren. As for Michael, the girls had had him wrapped around their fingers since the day they were born.

But there was still nothing from John. He had called both Michael and Eve a few times in the first few months, but whenever either of them had tried to bring Natalie up, he had abruptly ended the calls. It had now been four years and the only contact either of them had with him was through the occasional letter which never included a return address.

Natalie spent a few minutes picking up discarded toys and crayons from the living room, then made her way into the kitchen and put the kettle on. These days, the twins kept her so busy that it was rare for Natalie to actually sit and think about John. But when she did, she worried. Ever since the prison riot John had gone on a downward spiral one that resulted in him being suspended from the Llanview PD. Bo hadn't wanted to do it but John had given him no choice – he had blown almost all therapy sessions, was yelling at the other officers and staff, and had often come into work wearing the same clothes from the day before and smelling like whiskey. The final straw had been when John had badly beaten up a suspect who had made a lewd comment regarding Natalie. John had been suspended on the spot, and as he was leaving, he and Natalie had fought. She had tried reaching out to him, tried to convince him he needed help, but he had lashed out at her and she had lashed back. A lot of awful things had been said on both parts, but then Natalie had delivered the worst of them all – she had told John she hated him.

Even four years later she could still remember the stricken look on John's face – he seemed devastated. She had tried to apologize, tried to explain it had slipped out in the heat of the moment, but the words were out there. He had rushed off, not even bothering to clean out his office. That was the same day Natalie had realized she was pregnant and the same day John left town.

Life after that hadn't been easy. At the young age of twenty-five Natalie was divorced, alone, only working part time and now pregnant with twins. At first she had been apprehensive about telling her family, worried about what they would think – however everyone happy for her and in the usual Buchanan fashion, united to help her out. Jessica, a new mother herself, had gone to every doctor's appointment with her and been her Lamaze coach and Bo hired another part time receptionist at the police station and allowed Natalie to make her own schedules. But the biggest thing they had done for her, was buying her and the girls this house.

Natalie had been 8 months pregnant, still living at Llanfair and had been trying – with no avail - to find an apartment that could fit her new family and fit her budget when Vicki and Clint told her they had a surprise for her. With effort they had loaded her into their car and driven to the suburban neighborhood Jessica and Nash had just moved into. When they had pulled into the driveway of the house beside Jessica's, Natalie had been amused. "_Dad, their house is the next one,"_ she had said with a small smile. But her amusement soon turned to confusion when Clint replied, _"I know,"_ his face now holding the small smile. He and Vicki had helped her out of the car, led her up to the front door, and then handed her a key. _"It's yours honey,"_ Vicki had said, beaming at her daughter's shocked expression.

At first Natalie had a hard time accepting the overly generous gift, but both Vicki and Clint convinced her it was something that they wanted to do for her and their grandchildren. Seeing how happy her parents were, Natalie stopped objecting. Vicki, Jessica and Roxy had decorated and furnished the house and Rex, Nash and Michael all joined together to paint and do the heavy lifting. The end result was beautiful, and for the first time in her life Natalie felt like she had a real home. When she entered the house with her parents for the first time, almost the entire Buchanan, Balsom, Brennan and McBain families were there waiting for her – where they had set up a surprise housewarmimg/baby shower. Without a doubt that was one of the happiest days of Natalie's life because it was then all feelings of doubt, or inadequacy escaped her and she finally felt truly apart of a family.

The next four years passed quickly. She had given birth to the twins and spent almost all her time with them. She still continued to work part time at the police station, but now that the girls were enrolled in junior kindergarten, Natalie had gone back to LU part time to finish up her degree in Criminology – something she hoped to have finished within the next two years.

The shrill noise of the kettle broke Natalie out of her thoughts and she quickly took it off the stove not wanting to wake the girls. Carefully she poured some of the steaming water into a mug and added a teabag. She allowed it to steep for a few moments as she went over to the sink and began to wash the dinner dishes. Once she had finished that, Natalie grabbed her tea and started to make her way toward the living room but stopped when she heard the load snap of a twig. Slowly, Natalie turned towards the window and froze in fear when she noticed the figure of a man peering through the window.

Her fear quickly turned to panic and the mug fell from her hands and crashed to the floor. Knowing her first priority was the girls Natalie turned and began sprinting toward the stairs, ignoring the sound of crashing glass.

She had made it up the stairs and was just outside the door to the girl's room when he grabbed her from behind and put a chemical soaked towel to her face. Before she even had a chance to scream, Natalie was unconscious.

When she awoke hours later the girls were gone.


	3. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three **

John McBain stared down at the photo his face a mixture of confusion and concern. It had been pushed under the door to his hotel room sometime during the night and he had just noticed it as he was leaving. The picture was of two young girls, maybe 4 or 5 years old, huddled together on a couch, both of them looking terrified. On the back of the photo the words, "How does it feel?" had been messily written.

John tucked the photo into his back pocket and made a mental note to drop it off to the Baltimore PD after he checked into work. Neither of the girls were familiar to him and none of his recent cases had involved children so John surmised that whoever had slipped the photo under his door had gotten the wrong room.

Grabbing his jacket, John locked up the room and made his way toward his car, knowing he needed to get into work. Since leaving Llanview, John had drifted around the eastern coast taking temporary jobs at PI companies. None of them had been permanent, just a few weeks here, a couple cases there, until John got bored and moved on. He had been in Baltimore for nearly three months, the longest he had stayed any place in the last four years.

The drive from the hotel to the PI company was short, and John made it there in 5 minutes flat. Locking up his car, John entered the small office and gave a nod to the secretary Rita, as he picked up his mail from the corner of her desk.

"Listen Rita I need the Roberts file… Nick wants that case wrapped up as soon as possible." John said turning his attention to office secretary who attention was focused on the TV across from her desk.

"It's just awful isn't it?"

"What is?" John asked trying unsuccessfully to mask his irritation with the often flighty secretary.

"You mean you haven't heard?" Rita looked up at him in surprise. "Two twin girls were kidnapped from somewhere in Pennsylvania. You know Johnny you really should really turn on the news once in awhile, it's been on every station. Someone broke in during the night, knocked their mamma unconscious and took off with them."

John continued to skim through his mail. "Yeah that's terrible. The file Rita?"

Rita began to tap her long, acrylic fingers on the desk. "I wonder if its someone after a ransom… the family is worth a fair amount of money… I think the announcer said they have something to do with oil. Then again maybe it's the father… usually in things like this, it's always the other parent right Johnny?"

"Yeah sometimes." John said not really paying attention to her. Even after all the years he had spent in law enforcement he still couldn't get over how transfixed people became on the tragedy of others. But her comment did make him think of the photo he had received, and reminded him he needed to get over to the police station and drop it off. "Rita, I need to get the Roberts file…"

Rita interrupted him with an excited shush. "The twin's mamma is about to make a statement – I've been waiting all morning to hear from her. They showed some pictures of her and the girls – it really looked as if she loved those girls, not like a lot of those snotty rich people."

Rolling his eyes, John walked past her desk and started digging through the unorganized file cabinet deciding it would be faster to do it himself. He had just put his hand on the file, and was about to cross the room to sit at the other desk when he heard her unmistakable voice, a voice that four years hadn't been able to erase from his mind. Turning around slowly, John raised his eyes to the television screen and froze with shock.

"My name is Natalie Buchanan, and I am the mother of Sydney Anne and Eve Victoria Buchanan. I don't know who has taken my daughters or why, but I am urging whoever you are to please return them to their mother… they are just innocent children and they… they are all I have." Natalie's voice began to break, but she took a deep breath and continued to stare into the cameras. "They are both four years old, weigh approximately 40-45lbs and are about 3 foot 4." Natalie took another shaky breath, and this time Rex stepped up and put his arm around her.

"Both of them have blue eyes, but Sydney has red hair that goes just past her shoulders and Eve's hair is brown." He finished for Natalie. "They were last seen wearing pajama's, and it is believed that Sydney is carrying a pink teddy bear."

"Mr. Balsom, do know if the police have any idea who would want to take the children?" The voice of a reporter rang out.

"Commissioner Bo Buchanan is looking into all leads and is confident that the girls will be found unharmed."

"Have the Buchanan's been contacted about a ransom?" Another one asked.

Rex shook his head. "Not at this time."

"Is the children's father being considered a suspect?"

At this question Natalie's head shot up and she took a step forward. "No," she said without any hesitation. "He is a good man, and would never do something like this."

"But Ms. Buchanan…"

Natalie held up a hand to stop them. "At this time the Llanview Police department are doing everything they can. Please study these pictures of my daughters and contact the local police if you know anything. Thank You." Barely holding it together Natalie turned away from the cameras and made her way back inside the police station.

Suddenly two pictures of the girls flashed up on the screen and the news announcer begin listing the description Natalie had just given. John's eyes widened in shock and he grabbed the photo from his back pocket.

"Oh god," he said, realization suddenly dawning on him.

"Johnny?" Rita questioned, noticing John's pale face. "Johnny you okay?"

Ignoring the secretary, John grabbed the phone which sat perched on the edge of her desk and furiously dialed, hoping that in four years it hadn't been changed. It rang four times before John was met with the familiar gruff voice.

"Bo Buchanan here,"

"Bo it's John… John McBain. There's something you need to know."


	4. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four **

After leaving the press conference, Natalie returned to the police station and took a seat outside Bo's office. It had almost been 12 hours since the girls had been taken, but to Natalie it seemed like 12 years had passed.

She felt numb.

The chloroform had knocked her out until almost 3am, giving whoever had taken the girls a five hour head start on the police. When Natalie had come to, she had been hysterical, rushing from room to room hoping that maybe they had managed to get away and hide somewhere. But the girls were nowhere to be found. That's when she called Bo.

Despite the early hour her Uncle had been there within minutes, followed by a team of officers and CSI's who tore the house apart searching for clues. The commotion had awoken both Nash and Jessica from next door who took it upon themselves to alert the rest of the family. Within the hour most of the Buchanans were either at the house or the police station.

But, the police still had nothing. No prints, no DNA, no fibers – and worst of all, no motive.

"Natalie honey, I need to talk to you in my office," Bo's voice rang out and broke Natalie from her thoughts. Wordlessly she stood up and began to walk toward Bo's office, trying to remain composed remembering that if she lost it she wouldn't be any help to her children.

Natalie had just taken a seat and Bo was about to shut the door when he noticed Michael McBain run into the station. "Michael, could you please come in here." Bo asked as he continued to hold the door open.

"I just got off work and Marcie filled me in. Has there been any news?" Michael asked as he knelt down in front of Natalie and pulled her into a tight hug.

Tears began to form in the corner of Natalie's eyes as she met Michael's concerned gaze. "Who would do this Michael? Who would take my girls?"

Michael shook his head, a few tears forming in his eyes. "We'll get them back Nat." Taking a hold of one of Natalie's hands, Michael took the seat next to hers and faced Bo, his expression serious. "Has there been any news Bo?"

"Not exactly." Bo sat on the edge of his desk and turned his attention to Natalie. "Honey, the reason I called you in here is because I just received a phone call I think you should know about."

"A ransom?" Natalie asked her breath hitching as she continued to grip Michael's hand.

Bo shook his head. "This morning a picture of the girls was slipped under the door to a hotel room in Baltimore with a cryptic note on the back… It was John's hotel room."

Natalie felt as if she had been struck. "I don't understand," she said, her voice shaky. "No one has been able to find John… No one knows where he is…"

"Well whoever has the girls knew. He just called as few minutes ago and faxed over a copy of the original," Bo handed a sheet of paper across to her. "At first he thought whoever had sent it had the wrong room – chalked it up to part of a custody battle, but then he saw the press conference." Bo took a deep breath unsure of how Natalie would take the next part of his news. Finally he just came right out and said it. "He's on his way to Llanview."

Both Natalie and Michael's heads jerked up in surprise. Michael spoke first. "John is coming back?"

Bo nodded. "He'll be here in a few hours."

The drive from Baltimore to Llanview wasn't a long one, only about two hours, but it gave John a lot of time to think. He started out by trying to compile a mental list of all the cases he had worked within the last four years that had gotten ugly – but John came up with nothing. His work as a PI generally kept him away from people and his cases were typically over very simple matters such as finding out if a spouse was cheating or tracking down tenants that had skipped town. None of them had become violent and he doubted this kidnapping had anything to do with the life he'd built over the last bunch of years since he left Llanview

So he thought back to his time in the FBI and his cases in Llanview, hoping something would jump out at him. Before the first hour of his trip he had a couple of possibilities and found his thoughts turning to the one thing he had been avoiding thinking about – Natalie. And their children.

Of course he had often thought about her in the past four years, in fact the only two possessions that he continued to carry with him from place to place were a framed photo of her that he had swiped from Roxy's desk on his way out, and the Saint Jude medal that stillwas around his neck. But usually all thoughts of her were of their past as John never let himself entertain the impossible idea of a future between them.

Because even after four years he still loved her beyond all reason.

Knowing that within the hour he would be back in Llanview and having to face her was terrifying. He had no idea what to say to her and no idea what to expect. Did she still hate him? Would she yell? Scream? Blame him? After leaving town John wanted nothing to do with the reality of Natalie. He refused to let Michael or Eve mention her, and when they continued to do so John just stopped calling. He had assumed that she would go back to Cristian and finally get the happy ending she deserved, but John didn't want to know about it.

But now he knew that wasn't true.

After getting over the initial shock that it was Natalie on the news pleading for the safe return of her children, John's suspicions had been piqued. First by the last name of the twins – Buchanan, then by the use of the first name Eve, and finally by the resemblance Eve had to him. But his suspicions had been confirmed just as he was leaving the office and heard the newscaster going over the girl's details.

"They were born on August 16th 2006..."

As soon as he heard their date of birth, he knew for sure. Eve and Sydney were his daughters – and John had no idea what to do with that knowledge.


	5. Chapter Five

**Chapter Five **

Later that day Natalie sat alone in Bo's office, her mind racing. Not only was she trying to deal with the fact her daughters were still missing, but now she had to deal with seeing John again and the fact that the kidnapping obviously had something to do with him. For the first time in her life Natalie didn't know what she was feeling.

Anger at John for leaving.

Guilt over not protecting her children.

Relief that John would finally know about his daughters.

But most of all Natalie was scared. Scared that John wouldn't want anything to do with them, scared for the safety of her daughters, but mostly Natalie was scared she would never see them again.

Ever since becoming a mother Natalie would cringe when she heard the news that another child had been abducted or gone missing. She would include those families in her prayers, sympathizing with that child's mother – not even able to fathom going through that. Whenever she took the girls out in public Natalie kept her eyes glued to them, and from a young age taught them their full names, phone number and address.

But now it was her children missing – and it was exactly as it had been described to her – every mother's worst nightmare.

Vicki and Clint had spent hours at the station trying to get Natalie to eat or drink something or to lie down – but she couldn't. Jessica and Eve had both tried encouraging her to "let it all out", but Natalie couldn't do that either.

She just wanted this to be over.

John entered the police station as a common criminal would – keeping his head down, walking at a quick pace, and avoiding eye contact with anyone who glanced his way. He wasn't in the mood for a forced reunion with the guys he used to work with so rather then cut through the main part of the station John opted to use the back door to Bo's office.

Finding it slightly ajar, John let himself in but suddenly froze when he came face-to-face with Natalie, who was just moving toward the door.

"I tried to find you."

Her words just hung in the air between them as John tried to find his voice. Out of all the reactions he had anticipated her having, this was not one of them.

"I'm sorry." Was all he managed in response.

Natalie stared at him, her eyes blank and her face drawn. She looked completely drained. Finally she managed to crack a weak smile and pulled him into a tight hug. "I'm glad you're okay," she whispered softly.

Still slightly shocked, John awkwardly hugged her back unsure what else to say to her. Never in a million years had John imagined he would have another chance to have Natalie back in his arms.

It felt right.

After a few moments she pulled away, much to John's disappointment. "I meant it – I spent months trying to track you down, I wanted Sydney and Eve to know their father."

Ashamed, John looked down at the floor. "I was an idiot."

"Yeah, you were."

John couldn't help but smile at her direct attitude. Finally meeting her eyes he asked the one question that he needed to ask, "So, I am their father?"

Natalie nodded. "I found out the day you left. Conception was probably the last night we were together."

"I'm sorry you had to do it alone." John said it softly, his voice tight. Being here and seeing her after all this time made John long to go back in time and have a chance at doing things over. "I saw their pictures on the news – they are adorable Natalie. You've done an amazing job."

Tears began to fall from Natalie's eyes. "I thought so too until this morning." She took a shaky breath and began to pace the room. "I've just been sitting here, last night replaying over and over in my mind – maybe if I had been quicker or stronger I could have prevented what happened. Why would someone do this John?" Natalie choked out, as she finally succumbed to her emotions and began to sob. "Why would someone use my daughters against you?"

John went over and took one of Natalie's hands. "We'll find them Natalie, I promise you I'll find them."

Taking a few shaky breaths Natalie managed to stop the sobs and looked up at him. "I'm glad you're here." Standing up she moved toward the door once more. "I am going to go find Bo and see if there is anything new – I know he is going to want to talk to you."

John nodded and followed her as she exited the office and made her way through the main part of the station which hadn't changed at all. He recognized almost all of the officers from before, most which were staring at them with curious expressions. But before John could say anything he heard familiar voice that made him cringe.

"No I will not calm down Michael. You tell me that my son who has basically ignored me for four years is back in town and expect me to do nothing? No, his behavior is unacceptable and I have every right as his mother to give him a piece of my mind." Eve McBain yelled as she tore through the station, Michael helplessly trailing behind her.

Knowing he had to face his mother sooner or later, John sighed and turned around. "Hi Mom."

Eve's eyes narrowed dangerously as she came face to face with her son. Raising her hand she slapped him hard across the face and fixed him with a glare. "Do you have any idea what your father would say if he knew the way you have treated us? Not calling in two years – only sending letters? How could you do that to me Johnny?" Tears began to well up in Eve's eyes, and she quickly threw her arms around him. "I have missed you so much, Johnny."

His cheek still stinging from the blow, John wrapped his arms around his mother and hugged her tightly. "I'm sorry mom, I was an idiot."

Pulling away from her son, Eve wiped away her tears and nodded. "I swear John, if you ever do that again I am not going to be as forgiving."

Nodding, John looked past his mother at Michael. "Hey Mikey," he said softly.

"John," Michael grunted, still unsure if he could get past how abruptly his brother had taken off from Llanview and how he had stayed away missing not only Michael's wedding, but also the birth of his two sons Josh and Ryan, as well as his own daughters.

Up until this time Natalie had been standing behind John silently observing the strained family reunion, but seeing the tension between the two brothers stepped forward. "Eve, did you happen to see Uncle Bo one your way in?"

Eve shook her head. "Why? Has there been any news?"

Natalie looked over at John, unsure if she should tell Eve about the note. But before she had to make a decision, Bo came up behind them and wrapped his arms around Eve.

"Honey, I thought you were going home to sleep?"

"When Michael told me John was on his way to Llanview I had to come down here." Remembering that John knew nothing of his relationship with Eve, Bo quickly dropped his arms and looked past her, only to meet John's confused look.

Seeing the other man's expression Bo cleared his throat. "John, why don't you come into my office so I can get your statement?"

"Okay," John said following Bo back toward his office his mind racing. He had twin daughters, Michael was acting as if he hated him, and his mother was dating Bo Buchanan.

A lot sure did change in four years.


	6. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six **

As they entered Bo's office, Bo lightly grabbed Johns arm and stopped him. "Listen, I hope the thing with me and your mother doesn't make you uncomfortable because…"

John held up a hand to stop him. "No, I am happy for you." John took a deep breath. He hated moments like this. "Bo, I want to apologize for my behavior that day. You were right – I was losing it. I'm sorry I let you down."

Bo shook his head. "It's all in the past." He gave John a small pat on the back, "I am glad to have you home."

John took a seat across from the desk and handed the photograph to Bo who gave it to the lab technician Taylor. A few minutes later Bo re-entered the room, this time with Natalie trailing behind him. "She wants to hear what happened." Bo explained as Natalie took a seat.

John sighed. "There isn't much to tell. I have been in Baltimore for the past few months working at a small PI firm. This morning I woke up and found that photo had been slipped under my door. At first I thought maybe someone had got the wrong room but then I saw the press conference."

"Have you had any trouble with clients as a PI?" Bo asked as he took down some notes.

John shook his head and told Bo everything he had thought about in the car.

"What about anyone you've been involved with? An angry ex?" Bo asked wording the question as gently as he could with his niece sitting in the room.

"There's been no one."

Natalie's eyes widened in shock but she remained silent. "What about someone from your time at the FBI?" She asked trying to cover her surprise.

Reaching into the pocket of his jacket, John handed Bo a piece of paper. "On the way over I wrote down a few names that came to mind. Most of these guys should still be in jail, but it's worth checking into."

Bo nodded and took the paper from John's hands. "I'll look into it." The older man turned his attention to Natalie. "What about you Honey? Have you remembered anything else?"

Natalie closed her eyes and thought back to last night, the memory of which had been playing over and over in her mind all day. "No." Sighing she looked back at her uncle, tears now in her eyes.

"Why would someone do this?"

Bo shook his head sadly. "I don't know."

Hating what he was about to do, Taylor Smith grabbed the computer print out and headed toward Bo's office. He had just started the job in the forensics department of the Llanview PD a little over a year ago and Natalie had done everything in her power to make the transition smooth. She had introduced him to everyone around the station and had even used one of her days off to show him and his wife around the town.

Nobody deserved to have to go through what she was, and knowing what he was about to tell Bo made it worse.

"Commissioner," Taylor said knocking lightly on the door to Bo's office. "I finished running analysis on the photo."

Bo motioned for Taylor to enter the room and close the door. "What did you get?" Bo asked. Taylor glanced around the room taking notice that Natalie and another man were sitting in the two chairs facing Bo.

Sensing the other man's hesitation Bo nodded. "It's fine."

Taylor took a deep breath and focused on Bo. "I dusted the photo for prints and managed to get a partial. I ran it through the system and got a match. I wanted to be sure and there was a handwriting sample there so I took the liberty to compare it to the note on the back."

Wordlessly Taylor handed the sheet of paper across the desk to Bo and stepped back. Bo looked at down at the sheet of paper and back at Taylor, his eyes narrowed.

"Did you double check this?" Bo asked his voice sharp.

Taylor nodded. "Yes Sir."

Noticing the look passing between the two men Natalie sat up straighter. "What's going on? What does it say?"

Bo handed the paper over to John and looked at Natalie. "Honey… this is going to be hard to hear… but…"

Trying to keep her temper in check, Natalie reached over and tore the paper from John's hands. After studying it for a minute, she allowed it to drop form her hands.

"Cristian?" She asked her voice shaking. "Cristian took my girls?"

Both Bo and Taylor remained silent knowing nothing they could say would help Natalie. But John spoke up. "Do we have any idea where he is?"

Natalie weakly shook her head. "Cristian left town right after he found out I was pregnant. No one has seen him since. Why would he do this? Why would he take the girls?"

"What about Antonio or Carlotta? Would they know where he is?"

"It's doubtful." Bo said. "Antonio and Layla Williamson moved out to LA and opened a series of night clubs; they've been gone almost 3 years now."

"And Carlotta passed away last year." Natalie finished. Suddenly feeling sick to her stomach, Natalie stood up and without warning rushed from the room. "I…. I…. can't be here."

Natalie rushed though the station ignoring those who called her name. She tore out the building and to the parking lot, fumbling slightly for her keys. A small part of her knew she was in no condition to drive but Natalie ignored it and jumped into her car.

She needed to get away.

As she drove toward her house, Natalie remembered the last time she had seen Cristian almost four years ago. Their encounter hadn't gone well, and for the first time Natalie had finally been able to see how much he had changed. It was also the day that Natalie had found herself able to forgive John for keeping him away from her.

_Flashback_

_The loud ring of the doorbell awoke Natalie who had been dozing off on the couch. It had been almost a month since John had left town and Natalie had been wearing herself out trying to find him. _

_Sighing, Natalie got off the couch and pulled her sweater tighter around her, trying to hide the small bump of her stomach. Natalie was almost five months pregnant but hadn't told anyone aside from her immediate family as she had to have tracked down John by now. _

_Pushing aside thoughts of him, Natalie walked through the foyer and opened the door to revel a very determined looking Cristian. Inwardly groaning, Natalie held the door open for him and fixed him with a forced smile. "What brings you by?" She asked hoping her annoyance wasn't noticeable. _

_Cristian took a step toward her and fixed her with an intense look. "It's been over four months since I've been back and I gave you the time you asked for, but Natali, I want us to go back to the way things were before." Cristian said his voice and gaze never wavering. _

"_Cristian we have been over this…" _

"_Natalie you know I love you and with McBain gone there is nothing standing in our way."_

_Natalie sighed knowing what she had to do. "Cris," she began softly, unable to meet his eyes. "I'm pregnant." _

_Cristian's eyes widened and he looked at Natalie in shock. "You're what?"_

_Natalie stepped forward and put a hard on his arm. "I'm sorry Cris; I just thought you needed to hear it from me." _

_Cristian's eyes dangerously narrowed and he threw Natalie's hand off his arm and took a step back. "You're not seriously thinking of keeping it are you?" he spat viciously. _

_Natalie's mouth dropped open in horror. "Of course I am keeping it," she responded angrily once the initial shock wore off. "This baby is as much a part of me as it is John, and for you to even suggest that I…" _

_Cristian held up a hand to stop her, his expression suddenly turning to one of_ _compassion. "I'm sorry Natalie, I didn't mean that." He paused for a few seconds and then his face lit up. "Then marry me Natalie. We can leave Llanview and raise this child as our own, no one will ever have to know it was really his."_

_Unable to believe what she was hearing, Natalie took a step backwards. "Cristian I know you mean well but you know I can't do that. I spent most of my life not knowing who my real father was and I won't do that to my child. And what about Eve and Michael? They deserve to know their grandchild, nephew or niece." _

_Cristians eyes flashed with anger. "Fuck the McBains, they deserve nothing. That bastard took my wife from me and I owe his family nothing. You can't do this Natalie.. You belong to me, you should be having our children not the offspring of that…" _

"_Is everything okay here?" Nash's voice rang out from the top of the stairs. He had been upstairs reading when he heard the commotion coming from the parlor. Seeing Natalie's ashen face he descended the stairs and came to stand beside Natalie. _

"_It's fine," Natalie said desperately trying to keep her voice calm. "Cristian was just leaving." _

_Shaking his head, Cristian muttered as string of profanities under his breath as he stalked toward the door. Throwing it open he paused and looked back at her. _

"_You're going to regret this Natalie, I swear you are going to regret this." With one more intense glare, Cristian turned and slammed he door behind him leaving a shocked Natalie in his wake. _

_End Flashback_


	7. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven **

About a half hour after Natalie rushed from the station John pulled into her driveway. It had taken some coaxing, but Bo had finally given him directions to the house after John assured both him and Eve he wouldn't further upset Natalie. Getting out of his car, John walked around Natalie's car which was badly parked on an angle. Based on the parking, it was obvious Natalie was not taking the news of Cristian's involvement with the kidnapping well. John made his way up toward the wraparound porch, taking note of the toys scattered around.

Raising his hand to the doorbell, John paused when he realized the door was slightly ajar. Becoming concerned, John pulled out his gun from his back pocket and hesitantly made his way inside. "Hello?" he called out softly, "Natalie are you here?"

Quietly he crept into the house and shut the door behind him. Looking around, he made his way into the living room and through the kitchen, his weapon still drawn. It wasn't until he was standing still in the kitchen that he heard the water running from above him. Convinced that Natalie was safe and that Cristian hadn't been back to take her John put his weapon away.

He took his time walking through the living room which had been torn apart by the CSI crew earlier that morning. Luckily, Clint had called someone and the shattered window in the kitchen had been fixed right away. John took a few minutes and stopped in front of the fireplace mantle and side tables that held pictures of the family. There were tons of pictures taken throughout the past five years. Pictures of them as babies, recent ones of them as toddlers, pictures of them with Eve, Michael, Vicki and Clint, Roxy, Rex – and many of them with Natalie. A picture on the end caught his eye and he picked it up and studied it. It had obviously been taken recently as the girls looked the same as they had in the pictures on the news. It had been taken outside in front of the house, and Natalie and the girls were playing in a pile of leaves, large smiles on all of their faces.

Suddenly realizing just how much he had missed, John replaced the picture and tried to push away the guilt. He was here now and going to do whatever he could to make it up to his daughters and their mother.

Still hearing the water running, John felt a slight twinge of worry. He had been in the house for at least 20 minutes and from what he remembered of Natalie, she usually took quick showers. Going over to the stairwell, John slowly made his way up to the second level, looking at the framed photos that led the way.

No matter what the event or occasion, Natalie had been sure to document it well.

Once he reached the upper level, John walked toward the room that had the shower running. "Natalie?" he called out much louder this time, in the hopes she would hear him. After pausing for a few seconds, John slowly pushed the bedroom door open and stepped inside. The room was very much Natalie, not overly-feminine, decorated nicely in a mint green color. John was just about to call out for her again, when he heard the sobbing.

Just the fact that he could hear her over the loud spray of the shower, alerted John to the fact she was not well. Going over to the bathroom door, John pushed it open expecting to be hit with the choking steam of the shower.

There was no steam.

"Natalie?" John called again, but it was no use. He could hear her on the other side, completely falling apart. Crossing over to the shower, John pushed the curtain open and found a naked Natalie huddled against the wall, sobs racking her body. John quickly reached his hand in to turn off the water, yelping when he realized the water was ice cold. Frantically, he turned the knob to hot and kicked off his shoes. Not caring about his clothes he stepped into the shower and lifted Natalie into his arms, bringing them both under the water, knowing that he needed to get Natalie warm. As he sat with her in the shower, Natalie wrapped her arms around him and continued to sob and for the first time since the girls went missing completely fell apart.

Once the sobs had stopped John turned over off the water, helped Natalie to her feet and wrapped a fluffy white towel around her. Through this all, she remained silent. He helped her out of the shower and into her bedroom, gently helping her sit down on her bed. Finally she looked at him, as if seeing him for the first time.

"What if he hurts them… what if he does something to my babies?" she asked, her voice tight and laced with fear.

For the first time since arriving back, John didn't just see her as Natalie… he saw her as the mother of his children. Going over he knelt down in front of her and met her eyes. "I'm not going to let that happen Natalie, I'm going to find him."

She stared at him for a few moments, searching his face for a sign of reassurance. Finally, she nodded and then stood up clutching the towel tightly around her. "Can you give me a few minutes to get dressed?" she asked, needing to reclaim a bit of her modestly.

John let himself out of the room. Deciding to give her some time and take this opportunity to get out of his soaking wet clothes, John headed back downstairs and out to his car where he grabbed the duffel bag he had quickly packed. Finding the small powder room, John peeled off his wet shirt, jeans and boxers and changed. Once he was finished he headed back in to the living room and took a seat. Natalie came down a few minutes later, fully dressed and looking a lot better then she had. Offering him a small smile, she began to busy herself with the task of cleaning up the living room. "I'm sorry I fell apart on you like that, I just can't take not knowing."

"It's fine Natalie, there's no need to apologize. But I meant what I said; I am going to find them."

Natalie didn't say anything, just continued to clean. Finally she changed the subject. "I don't want the girls coming home to this mess. It will just freak them out."

Understanding that this was her way of dealing with it, John stood up and rolled up he sleeves. "Where do you keep the cleaning products? I'll start working on getting rid of this powder."

Silently, they worked side by side for nearly an hour trying to get the house put back together. The CSI team had been meticulous, going through every drawer and every corner making sure they missed nothing so there was a lot to clean up. Neither of them spoke until they made their way into the girl's room. As Natalie got to work cleaning, John just took a second to look around. The room was painted a pale lavender color, with pictures of Disney characters posted on the walls. On either side of the room there were two single beds, a bookshelf and a child sized dresser. As he began to help her, John decided to finally ask her about his daughters.

"What are they like?" He spoke so softly that Natalie almost didn't hear his question. She hesitated for a minute, but then sat on the edge of Eve's bed and began to speak. "Different." She managed a small laugh. "Sydney is a free sprit, wanting to try everything and get into everything. She's the child every babysitter fears, the one that wants to watch a movie, color, play house, do crafts and get into mommy's make-up, all in the first 10 minutes. Eve on the other hand is quiet. She likes to watch and observe, and hates to be the center of attention. Eve is the child that you have to watch yourself with because she picks up on everything, whether you know she's listening or not."

"They sound amazing."

Natalie smiled up at him, a few tears in her eyes. "They are. When I found out I was pregnant I was absolutely terrified, a feeling that only got worse when I found out I was having twins. But the second the doctor put them in my arms, that fear was replaced by total love and devotion."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there," John said as he took a seat beside her. "I should have been there."

"I wish you had been. I meant what I said earlier John, I searched for you, did everything in my power to try and find you so you could know."

John sheepishly looked down at the creamy white carpet. "It's my own fault… I shouldn't have taken off like that."

"Telling you I hated you is one of my biggest regrets. John you have to believe me it wasn't true. I could never hate you…" A few tears began to stream down her cheeks and John gently brushed them away with his thumb. Placing a soft kiss on her forehead, John pulled her toward him for a hug. "I know you didn't."

For the first time since arriving in Llanview, John let himself feel. In that instant this wasn't just a case, these were his daughters. Allowing the tears he had been holding back to fall, John and Natalie held one another as they cried. Cried for the way things had turned out, cried for the lost time and most of all cried for the safety of their children.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Chapter Eight **

Darkness fell over Llanview and it took the combined convincing of Bo, Eve, Vicki and Clint before Natalie agreed to stay at home and get some sleep. John's plan had been to do the same, head over to the Angel Square Hotel and rent a room, but Natalie wouldn't hear of it.

Pointing out that it would be easier if he stayed so they could both be there for any news; Natalie insisted that he stay in the guest bedroom. At first he had been hesitant, not wanting to cross a line, but when he considered the possibility of Cristian coming back for Natalie, John quickly agreed.

After putting the house back in order, Rex had stopped by with take out from Rodi's. Natalie hadn't wanted to eat but both men convinced her that she needed to stay strong for her daughters. The initial meeting between Rex and John had been strained, as they had never been friendly to begin with, but when Rex realized just how upset and remorseful John was about the entire situation, he eased up.

By the time Rex left, and after Natalie had called that station for the millionth time, it was nearly one am and both John and Natalie turned in for the night. Neither of them got much sleep and were back at the station by eight the next morning.

Though most of the officers, including Bo had worked through the night following leads and handing out Cristian's photo, there was no news awaiting them when they arrived. They spent the morning separated, John going out and helping the other officers canvas the area and Natalie holding another press conference and offering interviews, knowing that the more they got the girls and Cristian's faces out there the more likely it would become that someone had seen them.

But when one of the reporters asked her if Cristian had been involved in anything illegal, Natalie was hit with an idea. The second John got back to the station she ran over to him and pulled him aside. "We need to talk to Evangeline."

"Evangeline?" he questioned in surprise. "What would Evangeline have to do with this?"

"Ever since he got out of prison, she's been his lawyer. They even dated for a few months after you left. If anyone knows anything it's going to be her."

Though he found it unlikely she would help, like Natalie John knew this was one of their only leads. Nodding, John put his jacket back on. "Let's go."

"Do you really think she will help us?" Natalie asked as John raised his hand to ring the doorbell to the large, two storey home they were now standing in front of.

John shrugged his shoulders. "Right now we have nothing else, it's worth a shot."

It only took a few seconds before Evangeline appeared at the door and her eyes widened in shock as she realized who was on her doorstep.

"Natalie… John…. This is a surprise, please come in." Evangeline said holding the door open to them. Wordlessly the entered the large home and stood awkwardly in the doorway until she motioned for them to follow her into the living room.

"Please have a seat. I just put Alyssia down for her nap." Evangeline turned her attention to John. "She's my daughter."

John nodded. "Natalie mentioned you had married Hugh."

"Yes," Evangeline responded with a smile. "But, I imagine you aren't here to catch up over coffee. I take it this has something to do with the kidnapping. Natalie I want you to know our prayers are with you, no mother should have to endure that pain."

Deciding not to beat around the bush, John got right to it. "We have evidence that Cristian was responsible for the kidnapping." John said as he took a seat across from her. "We hoped that you knew something – maybe where he went, or if he had bought any property in the area. Anything that could help us find him."

Evangeline shook her head. "John, you know that whatever information I may have is protected by attorney-client privilege. As much as I want to help you, I legally can't."

Natalie, who had remained silent, stood up and crossed to the other side of the room. For a few seconds she just looked at the framed photographs sitting on the fireplace mantle. A few of them were of Evangeline's family and from her and Hugh's wedding, but most were of Evangeline's daughter – Alyssia – who was almost two.

Turning away Natalie fixed the attorney with a hard look and pulled out a picture of the twins that had been taken on their last birthday. Crossing the room, Natalie dropped the photo in front of Evangeline.

"Sydney is dreamy – she loves any fairy tale, but Cinderella is her absolute favorite. When she grows up she wants to be a ballerina or a figure skater." Natalie let out a small laugh. "It doesn't matter to her that she hasn't tried either of these, Syd just knows she will be good at them. If you ask her what her favorite food is you'll get a million different answers – Grandma Eve's chocolate chip cookies, Grandma Vicki's ice cream sundaes, or pizza – Sydney tends to be a people pleaser."

"Natalie…" Evangeline pushed the picture away, but Natalie continued on.

"No, if you're going to hide behind your _obligation _to that monster, then you can just shut up and listen to me. Her favorite colors are pink and purple, and she loves spending time with Grandma Roxy at _Foxy Roxy's_ because Grandma will paint her nails and do her hair and make-up even though I say she is too young. She is still scared of the dark and each night before bed I have to look in her closet to make sure there are no monsters. She loves Barbies, but her favorite toy is a pink bear I gave her that she named Ella. If Syd doesn't have Ella there is no chance of getting her to sleep." Natalie paused and drew in a shaky breath.

"Eve on the other hand is a lot different then her sister. She likes fairy tales, but isn't as crazy about them as her twin. If you ask her what she wants to be when she grows up she'll tell you that she is _going _to be a doctor just like Uncle Mickey because he helps people. Her favorite food is pizza, and her favorite sport soccer. Even though she isn't overly girly, Eve also loves Barbies and will wear a dress any chance she gets. When Uncle Rex told her she couldn't play soccer in a dress, Eve retorted 'Just watch me,' and proceeded to out run and out score him. Eve really isn't into the stuffed animal thing, but she does sleep with a brown bear named Johnny that belonged to Michael when he was a kid."

Natalie went back over and picked up the picture of her daughters. "These are my girls, and they are my life. See how happy they look in this picture? Well, this is what they look like now." Natalie reached into her pocket and took out the photocopy of the picture that had been slipped under John's hotel room and threw it at Evangeline. "They are absolutely terrified. Do you remember how we felt when Hayes kidnapped us? Well the fear we felt is nowhere near what my girls must be feeling – they are just four years old, they are helpless children." Natalie leaned across the table and grabbed a framed picture of Alyssia then shoved it at Evangeline. "Now, imagine its Alyssia that is gone, imagine that some monster has your daughter and the one person who could help you refuses to." Natalie's voice now broke and tears began to fall. "I am not asking you as Cristian's lawyer – I am asking from one mother to another. Please help us find our children."

Seeing that Natalie was about to fall apart, John quickly crossed the room and took her hand, trying not to show how much her speech had effected him. Not only did he get a small glimpse into the personalities of his daughters, for the first time Natalie had referred to them as "their" children.

Evangeline remained silent for a few minutes, but suddenly she stood up and left the room. Confused, Natalie and John looked at each other but their unspoken question was soon answered when Evangeline came back into the room. "I have to go check on Alyssia. If you want to look around the house while I am up there feel free, Hugh and I have done a lot of renovations. Just please ignore my home office which is the third door on the left… I was working on some files this morning and think I left them out."

With that Evangeline left the room, leaving a stunned John and Natalie in her wake.

"Was that an invitation?" Natalie asked, suddenly hopeful.

"I'm taking it as one," John replied as he jumped to his feet and made his way toward that third door which had conveniently been left open. Crossing the room, John and Natalie looked down to see a file marked 'Cristian Vega' lying open on the desk. Suddenly very hopeful, John picked it up and began to skim through it, stopping when he got to a sales agreement page.

"I've got it." He said, grabbing a piece of paper from Evangeline desk and copying down what he saw.

"Is that an address?" Natalie asked as she peered over his shoulder.

Nodding, John continued to write. "It says there that Cristian brought a cabin on Llantano mountain but put it in name of Jamie Vega."

"So it couldn't be traced back to him," Natalie finished for him. "John that's it, that has to be where he took the girls."

Replacing the folder, John pocketed the address he had just copied down. "We have to call Bo, he needs to get a team up there now before Cristian realizes were on to him and moves."


	9. Chapter Nine

**Chapter Nine **

After calling out a quick goodbye to Evangeline, John and Natalie rushed from the house and sped back toward the police station. Not caring where they parked, they both jumped from the car and frantically ran through the station toward Bo's office. Seeing that he was just crossing the room Natalie breathlessly called out to him, "Uncle Bo!"

Hearing his niece's excited voice and taking in her disheveled appearance, Bo quickly crossed the room to join them. "What is it? Did you find something?" Bo asked turning his attention to John.

Also trying to catch his breath, John nodded and pulled the piece of paper from his pocket. "We have to get a team to this address…"

Looking it over, Bo glanced up at them confused. "Wait a minute. What is this? Where did you get it?"

"It's a cabin Cristian bought and put in the name of Jamie Vega," John explained, hoping that Bo didn't push them on where they had got the information.

"Uncle Bo he has to be there – it's the only place he could go that no one knows about. We have to get up there quick."

"All day we have had the faces of Cris and the girls on TV, if Cris realizes we are onto him he's going to move, we need to get there now." John supplied.

Bo nodded. "Okay. Give me 5 minutes to get a team together. John you're with us." Bo tuned toward Natalie his face serious. "I would prefer you stay here and wait for us."

"No way," Natalie said as she shook her head. "I am going with you."

Having expected this reaction, Bo sighed. "Fine, but you're staying back with me. I don't want you anywhere near that cabin."

Though she wasn't happy with the arrangement, Natalie gave in knowing it was the best offer she'd get. "Fine, let's go."

The ride up to Llantano Mountain only took a half hour, but to Natalie it felt like days. Not having anything else to go on and not enough time to devise a tactical plan, Bo had ordered two vans of officers up to the cabin. Luckily for them, it was in the middle of nowhere surrounded heavily by trees. If Cristian had been planning this when he bought the cabin, he had obviously thought the location would work to his advantage.

The Llanview Police Department was about to prove otherwise.

After parking the vans far enough away that they couldn't be spotted from the cabin, Bo ordered the men to fan out and surround the cabin. Darkness was just starting to fall, and the officers were told to use that to their advantage. Remembering how well trained John was for these situations, Bo decided he would be the one who lead the rest of the team once they were close.

After going over the plan one final time, Bo wished them good luck and sent them off as he monitored them through comms with Natalie.

As John crept toward the cabin, the first thing he noticed was not only were all the lights off, but there was no car anywhere in sight. Slightly alarmed, he pushed his fears away and continued up the pathway. Circling the cottage, John looked in all the windows and saw nothing but darkness.

Waving the other officers forward, John stood back and waited as they busted through the doors. Waiting to hear any sounds, John motioned for a few of the officers to follow him as he made his way into the house. Gesturing them in opposite directions, John hesitated in the doorway until he heard them yell clear.

Figuring the lower level was safe enough, John slowly made his way inside and began going through the rooms that the officers had just assessed as clear. As he entered into a small den off the kitchen, John's breath caught in his throat as he immediately spotted the two little girls huddled in the corner.

They were sitting in the shadows, so it was understandable that the other officers hadn't spotted them.

Taking a deep breath he moved toward them but stopped suddenly when he recognized the look of terror that came into their eyes. "You must be Sydney and Eve," John said remaining where he was standing.

The room was quiet for a few seconds until a small voice spoke up. "Who are you?" The question came from the brown haired child in the front. She was sitting on the floor, holding her sister protectively and stared up at him with bright blue eyes.

For the first time John actually saw what everyone else already knew, Eve was the spitting image of him.

Bringing himself down to a crouching position in front of them, John looked her in the eye. "My name is John McBain; I am a friend of your Mom's."

At the mention of his name, the red haired child sat up and pulled away from her sister. "McBain like uncle Mikey?" Sydney asked, tears streaming down her cheeks.

John nodded. "I'm his brother. Grandma Eve is my mom."

Eve stared at him for a few minutes as if trying to decide whether or not to trust him. Finally she looked at her sister. "It's okay Syd, I saw his picture at Grandma's."

Though happy that he had gained their trust, it killed him knowing his daughters had no idea who he was. He forced a smile. "You're Mommy is waiting outside, if you come with me I will take you to her." John said extending his hand to them.

The look of fear washed over both their faces. "We can't leave… the bad man will be mad… he said he would hurt Mommy…" Sydney said hysterically, before breaking into a fresh round of sobs.

"I won't let that happen, I promise you," John said, still holding out his hand. Finally, Eve grabbed it with her right hand and stood up. After letting go of his hand she reached down and helped her sister to her feet. "It's okay Syd, don't cry."

Continuing to hold her sisters hand tightly, Eve then offered her other hand to John. She looked up at him for a second before turning her attention back to her sister. "We're safe now."


	10. Chapter Ten

**Chapter Ten **

"Mommy!" Sydney screamed and before John even realized it the girls had broken free of his grasp and were running toward Natalie as she rushed towards them. They came together in a tight embrace. Feeling like an outsider, John just stood back and watched and listened as Natalie, the mother of his children, reassured everyone that they were safe now.

Eventually, Natalie looked up and met his eyes and mouthed a silent "Thank you." John just nodded and stood back. He felt completely out of place and hated himself for it. He was broken out of his self-pitying thoughts by Bo coming over to him. "No sign of Cris in there?" Bo asked.

"No."

"Damn it," Bo cursed under his breath. "I want to get the girls and Natalie out of here just in case he does come back. They should also be examined at the hospital just to make sure they're all right."

"I'll drive them," John said.

Bo reached in his pocket and handed John the keys to his car.

John cut across the grass and went over to where Natalie was still embracing the girls. He cleared his throat. "Natalie? Bo wants me to take you guys back to Llanview and get the girls checked out at the hospital."

"Come on girls, we are getting out of here." The three of them stood up, each of the girls clutched tightly onto each of Natalie's hands.

They put the girls in the back seat of the car and before Natalie got in next to them she stopped and threw her arms around John. "Thank you so much for bringing our girls home. Thank you." She buried her face in his chest.

With a smile on his face, John just held her for a second until Syd's voice called out, "Mommy?" and Natalie broke free to join their daughters.

John gently closed the door and walked around to the driver's side.

During the ride to the hospital the girls continued to cling to their mother. The only time any of them spoke about what they had endured was when Sydney bolted straight upward and started to cry. It took come cajoling but Natalie finally got the child to admit she was scared about when the bad man came back.

"He told us he was going to get us something to eat and that we had to stay in that room…. and… and… that if we didn't do what he said…. he would… he would… hurt you Mommy," Sydney said through her tears, her voice shaking.

Unsure of what to say, Natalie just gathered her daughter in her arms and let her cry. "Shhh… it's okay Syd. Nothing bad is going to happen to me, I promise."

Eve, who had been completely quiet up until this point, leaned over Natalie and took one of her twin's hands. "Mommy is right Sydney. Besides, John is here and he won't let anything happen to her or us right?"

Surprised that she had addressed him, John glanced behind him and into her eyes. "No I won't."

For the first time Syd broke away and also looked at him. "You promise?" she sniffed.

"I promise."

Shocked at how quickly her daughters had taken to John, Natalie met his eyes in the rearview mirror and for the first time since he'd been back, actually smiled at him.

By the time they reached the hospital Bo had called ahead and almost all the Buchanan's and McBain's were there waiting for them. The second they walked through the door there had been smiles, laughs and hugs all around.

Once again, John stood back and watched feeling and outsider. He knew there was no one to blame but himself, but it still killed him to see the way his daughters were hugging his mother and brother when they had no idea who he was. Sighing, he pushed the feelings away and just stood there watching. Now that he had this second chance he had to do whatever he could to make things better.

After checking out both girls for any injuries, Michael realized that Eve was favoring her right hand. After feeling around and seeing the way she winced, he decided to send her for some X-Rays. It turned out that she had broken her hand and hadn't wanted to worry Natalie by telling her about the pain. So after insisting that Natalie stay with Syd and that he could handle it, Michael went to work on his niece.

Michael and Eve had always had a special relationship as she reminded him a lot of a younger John, so Michael tried talking to her in order to get her mind off of everything that happened. But soon Eve got a serious look on her face.

"Uncle Mike can I ask you something?" Eve said as Michael started to apply the plaster cast to her left arm.

"Of course Evie-Bear."

"Is that man John our daddy?"


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Chapter Eleven **

"Is that man John our daddy?"

Her voice was so serious and grown-up that Michael had a take a second to remind himself she was only five. Busying himself with the plaster, he tried to remain passive.

"What makes you ask that?"

Eve shrugged the shoulder of her other arm. "Well, Grandma Vicki and Grandpa Clint are me and Syd's Grandma and Grandpa because they are mommy's mommy and daddy right? And Grandma Eve is Josh and Ryan's Grandma because she is your mommy. But Grandma Eve is also our Grandma. And you are our uncle just like Uncle Rex and Kevin are our uncles because they are mommy's brothers. So then if you are our uncle and John is your brother and Grandma Eve is his mommy, then he has to be our daddy right? Or do you have another brother?"

Completely shocked at Eve's observant logic, Michael just stood there for a second. He had just been put on the spot by a four year old.

Recovering he finished with the plaster. "I think this is something you need to ask your mommy."

Eve rolled her eyes. "Well, do you have another brother?"

"No. Okay, Evie-Bear you have to sit here for a few more minutes and let it dry. I am going to get your mommy." Michael practically ran from the room and told the first nurse he found to go keep an eye on her. Going over to the waiting room he found Natalie holding a sleeping Sydney, both of them surrounded by her family. Luckily, John was over talking to Bo.

"I need to talk to you." He said trying unsuccessfully not to appear frantic. But he mentally kicked himself as he saw the look of fear that came over her face.

"What? Is it Eve? Is she okay?" Natalie said as she gently handed a sleeping Sydney to Vicki.

"She's fine. I just need to talk to you."

After placing a soft kiss on Sydney's forehead, Natalie stood up and followed him to the nurse's station. "What is it? Are you sure everything's okay?"

Michael nodded. "The cast is on and will have to stay on for about 6 weeks. Other then that she's fine."

"Okay, then why do you need to talk to me?" Natalie looked worriedly at her mother who was still holding Sydney. "If Syd wakes up and I am gone she will freak out."

"Eve just asked if John was her father."

Natalie's eyes widened in shock. "What? Why would she ask something like that? Where would she get that idea? Did you say something? Did Cris?"

"Whoa, slow down." Michael said putting a comforting hand on Natalie's shoulder. He then proceeded to explain what Eve had said to him. Once he was finished he was surprised to find Natalie smiling, rather then looking panic stricken.

"She's really all John isn't she?" Natalie said softly. "I mean from the day she was born she always looked like him, but once Eve got older she started acting like him too. Would be quietly sitting and watching TV or make seem like she was occupied with something else, when really she would be watching you like a hawk. Observing every single movement you made, hearing every single word you spoke."

Michael found himself smiling too. "Yeah, she is. I see it in the way she protects Sydney. It's just like how John used to be with me."

Natalie sighed. "Michael what am I going to do?"

But Michael just shrugged, knowing he couldn't answer that question for her. "I don't know Nat. But you and I both know how Eve is; she's not going to just drop this."

"Thanks Michael, I'll figure out how to deal with this. Listen while we are here, I wanted to talk to you about how you were with John yesterday…"

A look of anger crossed on to his face. "What I am supposed to act like nothing happened? Supposed to just forget that he promised to be my best man then just took off? Supposed to forget that he's never met either of his nephews? That I have had to lie and tell them Uncle Johnny is very busy but he loves them very much? No, Natalie, I can't just forget that."

Natalie's face softened. "Michael he's still your brother…"

"Maybe in name…"

"No." Natalie's voice was determined. "You and John already wasted enough time being estranged you can't do this again. Please Michael, just think about it? Okay?" She finally stopped when Michael nodded.

"Thanks Michael. Can I go in and see Eve?"

"Go on in."

Natalie gently patted his shoulder and walked toward the room a smile on her face. But, her smile faded when she opened the door and heard Eve's speaking. "Uncle Rex, is John my daddy?"

Seeing his sister in the doorway, Rex shot her a grateful look. "I think that's a question for your mom." Going over he placed a quick kiss on her forehead and made a hasty exit. Knowing it was now or never, Natalie stepped into the room and forced a smile at her daughter.

"So, Uncle Mike says the cast is going to be on for a few weeks, think ya can handle that?"

Eve nodded. "Mommy, is John our daddy?"

Having known it was coming, Natalie had prepared herself as best she could. "Eve, listen you and Sydney have been through a lot these past few days. Can we talk about it tomorrow?

Eve scrunched up her face as if in deep thought. Finally she nodded. "Okay mommy, as long as you promise to answer because you never break your promises."

"I promise." Natalie said softly.

"Good. Can we go home now Mommy?"

Taking a hold of Eve's good hand, Natalie helped her daughter off the examining table. "Of course Sweetie, let's go home."


	12. Chapter Tweleve

**Chapter Twelve **

Once again John used Bo's car to drive Natalie and the girl's home. By the time they got there it was nearly 11:00 and both girls look exhausted. Before they had left the head of psychiatry came by to talk to Natalie. He explained that she needed to answer any questions that the girls had about what happened, but at the same time try and get them back into their normal routine. He was however positive that both would easily recover from this as Cris hadn't hurt or touched them in any way.

Both girls hesitated in the doorway a bit before entering the house. "Are you sure it's safe? The bad man won't come back?" Sydney asked quietly.

Natalie forced her most reassuring smile. "I promise."

"Can John stay with us Mommy? Because Grandma Eve told me he was a police officer so he could protect us right?"

Right away Natalie knew that this was Eve's way of being sneaky and ensuring her earlier question about John being their father didn't go avoided, Natalie glanced helplessly over at John. When she saw his nod, she turned back to Eve and nodded herself. "That's a good idea Eve."

Glad that her plan had worked, Eve's face lit up and she smiled. "You can stay in Uncle Rex's room." She looked over at her twin, "See Syd, John is gonna stay so we will be safe."

Sydney bit her lip and looked between her mother and John for a second. Finally she bobbed her head up and down. "Okay."

For the first time John realized just how much Sydney looked like Natalie. She had the same hair, eyes and mannerisms. He then looked over at Eve and took a second to study her. When he had first seen their picture on the news he had been struck with the realization that Eve resembled him, but seeing her in person it blew John away. It was both an awing and terrifying experience to be able to look in this child's small face and see himself.

Realizing that the girls were looking at him to say something he stopped studying them and smiled, "Sounds good to me."

Though it was really late, Natalie knew the girls must be starving so she ushered them into the kitchen and put on some chicken noodle soup figuring it was light enough for the late hour. They ate quickly, both too tired to really make any conversation. But as Natalie was leading them toward the stairs, Sydney froze again.

"Why did that man take us Mommy? Did we do something bad?"

Natalie paused for a moment, remembering the doctor's advice to be honest with the girls. But knowing that of the two, Sydney was the more scared and anxious, Natalie wanted to choose her words carefully. She was still debating on how to begin when she heard Johns voice behind her.

"You Mommy told me that you like fairy tales, is that right?" John said softly as he knelt down so he was eye level with the girls. Still gripping Natalie's hand, Sydney turned to face him. Still a little bit shy with him, she just nodded.

John smiled at her. "Me too. What one is your favorite?"

Sydney just remained silent, but Eve spoke for her. "Cinderella is her favorite."

"Well, you remember how Cinderella's stepmother and sister aren't very nice people? And how they lock her in her room? That was pretty mean of them wasn't it?"

Once again Sydney just nodded.

"Well Cinderella didn't do anything wrong, they were just bad people right?"

"Yes," She said very softly.

"Well even though we don't live in a fairy tale, there are still mean people like her stepmother and stepsister who do bad things for no reason. The man that took you was one of those people."

"So it wasn't something we did?"

John shook his head. "Nope, it was just because he isn't a very nice person."

"But what if he comes back? What if he takes us again? What if he hurts Mommy like he said he would?"

Sensing that the little girl could become hysterical, John gave her his biggest smile. "That's why I am going to stay here with you guys. Do you know what your uncle Bo does?"

"He takes bad people to jail."

John nodded. "Yup that's right. And you have my word that until Uncle Bo takes him to jail I won't leave your side."

"But what if he takes you?"

"If he tries to take me I will arrest him and give him to your Uncle Bo to put in jail."

Sydney thought about it for a second and then nodded. "Do you pinky swear?"

John flashed Natalie a confused look and when she just nodded, he took that as a sign to agree. "Yes, I pinky swear."

Sydney held out her pinky finger and John figured that he was supposed to do the same, so he did and smiled as she grasped on to his pinky with her own tightly.

"Okay." She looked back up and her mother. "I feel better now Mommy."

Blinking back the tears that had formed in her eyes from witnessing that exchange, Natalie smiled. "I'm glad sweetie, let head on upstairs for bed."

"Are we going to read like always mommy?" Sydney asked with a yawn.

"Of course," Though it was almost midnight, the doctor had also said to stick with normal routines.

"Since John likes fairy tales he should come too." Eve said with a small smile.

Seeing the looks that kept passing between Natalie and Eve, John found himself growing curious and made a mental note to ask Natalie about it later.

Natalie looked back at John. "Would you like to come with us?"

"Sure," he agreed and followed them up the stairs.

Story time went quickly and soon both Sydney and Eve were fast asleep in Natalie's bed. Making sure to be as quiet and careful as possible, Natalie slid down the bed and placed _Green Eggs and Ham_, on her dresser. She gestured at John who had been sitting in the armchair to follow her out.

"Normally, I would carry them to their bedroom, but for tonight at least I think it's best they stay in my room," she whispered as she led him back down to the living room.

"Yeah, for now they would probably feel safer there," He said pulling the robe he was wearing, tighter around him. When John had followed Natalie and the girls up stairs, he had been surprised when Eve and Sydney insisted he go change into his pajamas. "It's what we do. We all change into our jammies and then jump in Mommie's bed." Sydney had explained.

Remembering that John wasn't exactly the pajama type, Natalie had jumped in. "Girls, I think John is a little bit too big for jammies." She had then looked over at him, "Sweat pants and a tee-shirt will be fine. There's also a robe in there you can use."

So he had gone and changed and then sat in the armchair and watched as Natalie snuggled between the girls and started to read. If he hadn't already known it, watching them confirmed that Natalie was an amazing mother and as they took a seat in the living room, John told her so.

She shrugged, slightly embarrassed. "It just comes naturally." Just sitting here with him having finished putting the girls to bed caused the events of the past forty-eight hours to catch up with her and before Natalie even knew what was happening, she was sobbing.

"Oh god, what if I had lost them? What if we hadn't gotten there in time?" John moved closer to Natalie and awkwardly put an arm around her. "Shhh… It's okay… don't think that like. We got there in time, their safe now."

"I know, it's just how close we came to losing them," Natalie managed to choke out as she continued to sob.

Knowing it was something she needed to get out, John just remained silent and held her for the next fifteen minutes. Finally, the tears subsided and she pulled away. Embarrassed she wiped away her tears and moved to sit on the arm chair that faced him.

"Sorry about that," she said embarrassed about her little meltdown.

"Don't apologize Natalie."

Deciding to change the subject, she smiled at him. "You were really good with Sydney earlier. Of the two she's always been more scared of things like the dark and getting lost." Natalie laughed warily, "But yet she's the first one who will do something risky like try and fly or go on rides, I don't get that. But you were really good with her."

Now it was John's turn to feel embarrassed. "They're both amazing Natalie, you've really done a great job. I'm just sorry I wasn't around to help you."

Natalie sighed. "I won't lie and say it was easy, because it wasn't. The day I found out I was pregnant, I was terrified. Scared I couldn't do it, scared I wouldn't be a good mother, scared I would mess this up. But my family helped. Jess went to every single Lamaze class with me and was in the room when I delivered them. Despite my protests, my parents bought me this house and Asa a new mini-van." A soft look came over Natalie's face as she remembered how loved and accepted she had finally felt through everything her family had done. "Your Mom was amazing, and even Marcie was great. You know as well as anything how many problems Marcie and I had, but the second she knew she was getting two nieces her and your mom planned me a huge shower."

Natalie stood up and went over to the bookshelf and pulled down a few albums. She walked over and sat beside John then opened the first one. "There are from my shower." Natalie said motioning to the first few pages of the photo album. "My parents had brought me over here to surprise me with the house and everyone was waiting inside when I opened the door."

John studied the pictures seeing how happy everyone looked. Natalie looked happy too, but there was something about her eyes, they seemed slightly sad. "I know, I am huge." Natalie said, noticing how John was staring at one of her.

"You look beautiful," John said softly, as he looked at the picture of seven months pregnant Natalie.

Natalie blushed and turned the page. "These are from the day they were born. This one here," she pointed to the first picture of her looking very angry. "was taken by your brother during one of my contractions."

"He delivered them?" John asked in surprise.

Natalie nodded with a small smile. "Yeah. At first the idea of it really freaked me out, but he is a doctor and they were his nieces, so I got over it." She turned the page to a series of pictures where she was holding the girls. Natalie's hair was all messed up, sweat was dripping down her face, but she was beaming. To John, she had never looked more beautiful.

"Eve was born first, a very easy delivery. But Sydney," Natalie rolled her eyes. "Put up a fight. She was born nearly an hour later and let me tell you it was hell."

"You picked beautiful names."

Once again she grinned. "I wanted to include all our mothers in some way. Eve was easy, the second I saw her I knew Victoria didn't work as a first name. So, I went with Eve Victoria. Sydney took a little bit of work. I wanted Roxy to have a place in there, but there was no way I was naming my daughter Roxanne. So I shortened it and used Anne as the middle name."

"How did you come up with Sydney?"

"I didn't, Rex did. I had no idea what suited her, so I told my brother he could name her. Not only was he honored, but I had never seen him go at something so serious. Finally, he settled on Sydney and I fell in love with it."

John continued to skim through the next few pages. There were pictures of the girls with family members, and a lot from the first few months. There were pictures of them bathing, sleeping, and eating – pretty much every second was captured.

"Since there had never been any pictures of me and Rex around as a kid, I went a little camera happy."

"But you're in a lot of them too," John said referring to one that had an exhausted looking Natalie holding Sydney. Natalie glanced over at what he was looking at. "Rex took a lot of them when he lived here."

"Your brother moved in with you?"

Natalie nodded with a small smile. "Yup. I moved in as soon as I got the house and Rex moved out of the loft. I tried to convince him not to, not wanting to subject him to four a.m. feedings and crying, but he insisted. Told me it was just until I got settled." Natalie laughed quietly. "He actually just moved out a couple of months ago. Rex was amazing, he did everything. Fed them, changed diapers, bathed them, and as they got older arranged his schedule around me." Seeing John's confused look she explained. "Rex finally opened that PI firm he had talked about, so he would base his hours around mine at the station so that one of us would be there. Plus, with Jessica and Nash next door, there was always someone around."

"I really missed out on a lot."

John spoke so softly, that Natalie almost didn't hear him. When she did, she glanced at him sadly. "Yeah you did, but you're here now John and I need to know what you plan to do about it."

"What do you mean?" John asked looking up from the album he was holding.

"Eve asked Michael, Rex and I if you were her father."

"What?"

Natalie nodded. "Apparently at the young age of five she was able to realize that since Eve is her grandmother and Michael her uncle, and you their son and brother, that you must be her father."

"Wow," was all John could say, shocked at her observant behavior.

"Yeah, and the only way I could get her to drop it was by promising her an answer tomorrow. So I need to know to know what to tell her and part of that is asking you this – John are you going to be their father?"


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Chapter Thirteen **

"John are you going to be their father?"

John looked at Natalie in complete shock. "What type of question is that? I am their father…"

Natalie smiled softly. "I know that John, but I'm asking if you are going to be."

John started to get angry. "Of course I am going to, how can you even ask me something like that? You really expect me to just walk away from them without another glance? Do you really not know me at all?"

"Please just listen to me?" She interrupted as she held up a stand to stop him. "There isn't a feeling more awing or terrifying then being a parent John. Here are two little girls who will look up at you as if you hold the world in your hands. You represent their thoughts, dreams, and inspirations – and when you can't deliver it's you that breaks their hearts." Natalie stood up and began pacing the room.

"You're the one that has to love them unconditionally, even when they screw up and do something that makes you want to pull your hair out, or if they make a choice you don't agree with. You still have to be there. You have to protect them, but at the same time let them make their own decisions. That means not overreacting when they decide to go out with the captain of the football team, but being able to handle being the ass when you step in and ground them for breaking curfew. You have to be the one that guides them toward their future, but at the same time let them make their own decision, even if you know they are making a mistake." Natalie finally turned back toward him and met his eyes in a powerful gaze. "You have to accept that you can't protect them forever. And you have to be able to handle both the good times and bad. You also can't lie to them, or keep things from them, or run when things get tough. Lastly, you have to be able to love them."

"Do you really think I can't do that?" He asked softly.

Natalie sat back down and offered him a small smile. "I know you can, but you have to know it. This isn't about me anymore John. I could handle being pushed away, being lied to, left behind and even not being loved, but these are five year old children. John, if they let you in and see you as their father, they won't be able to handle it if you take off again."

"Natalie, of course I want…"

But once again she stopped him. "I don't want an answer now; I need you too really and think about it. As I said, I know you can do it, I know you can love them… but it's you who needs to know. John if you're going to be their father you need to finally put those demons to rest."

"What about us?"

Natalie looked at him with a wistful look in her eyes, finally she shook her head. "There hasn't been an 'us' in a very long time John."

"But at one time there was."

"Yeah, at one time there was, and it was amazing." Natalie smiled slightly, "And look at the two amazing girls we got from it. But, too much time has passed and too much has happened. I can't go down that road again John, it took me a long time to recover."

"This is because of Statesville isn't it?"

"No. I forgave you for that a long time ago."

"You did?" He asked, surprised by this revelation.

Natalie nodded. "A few weeks after you left I told Cris I was pregnant because I wanted him to hear it from me. He didn't take it well, first asked me if I was actually going to keep it. Then when I got mad, he tried to convince me to marry him and raise the baby as his."

"And you said no." John deduced.

"Of course I did. I spent my whole life being deprived of my real parents, I wasn't going to do that to my baby and plus, I didn't love Cris anymore. He took it badly, lost it on me and probably would have attacked me if Nash hadn't shown up. That was the last time I ever saw him and that was the day I figured out why you did what you did. The Cris that went to jail was nothing like the man I married. He was dangerous, angry, mean and hateful. You saw this change in him, when I was too blind to. I know now that you were trying to protect me."

"Natalie we can start over, be a family…"

Natalie stood up and firmly shook her head. "John a part of me will always love you. You were the realest relationship I ever had and you gave me two amazing girls. But, we are over and nothing will change that. If you decide you are going to be their father in every sense of the word, then that's great. You and I have been through enough that I think we will always be friends despite our history. From here on out, we will both be there for every moment and event the girls have. But, there will never be an us again." She gave him one last smile. "Just think about it okay?"

Without anything else, Natalie left the room and went back to join their daughters in case one of them woke up scared. Now left alone, John continued to go through the albums and study everything he had missed, his mind still on what Natalie had said.

Cristian paced angrily across the run down motel room, cursing under his breath. He had fucked up. When he had come back from town with the food, Cristian had found his property swarming with cops. By grabbing his binoculars, he was even able to witness the reunion between Natalie and the two brats.

That just made him furious.

So he had taken off and checked in to a motel a few miles away. Though his name and picture were being flashed on every news channel, he wasn't worried. In the four years since he had left Llanview he had drastically changed – he had gained about 30 pounds, let his hair grow past his shoulders, and grown a full beard. He had also stopped using the name Cristian Vega, now going by Christopher Jones.

The day that Natalie refused to marry him and raise the child as his, was the day that he had taken off. Not only was she keeping McBain's kid, she was also going to acknowledge him as the father – that fact had enraged him.

He had spent the next three years traveling around and took odd jobs likes trucking, and shipping to get by. But then is mother had died.

He had stopped calling her about a year after leaving because he hated the way she talked about Natalie's brats. "Oh Cris, you should see them, they are adorable." "Oh Cris, I went over and spent Thanksgiving with them… you should have been here." Although part of him knew she was only doing it because she still hoped that he and Natalie would find their way back to each other, Cris hated her for it. Here she was treating the McBain's offspring like they were her own.

So he stopped calling and stopped taking her calls.

Once she had died, Antonio had somehow managed to track him down. Explained how Carlotta had been in the wrong place, at the wrong time and got caught in the middle of a robbery. Cris however, acted like he didn't care.

In fact his exact words had been, "Oh well, serves her right for picking Natalie's brats over me."

This had made Antonio furious and the two of them had gotten into a huge fight that ended with Antonio hanging up on him.

But Cris hadn't cared; it wasn't like he was his brother anyway.

But later that night, Cristian had started to feel slightly guilty and decided to attend her funeral. So he had dressed in his best suit and left Ohio first thing in the morning arriving at the church just in time to see Natalie walk to the front. She was dressed in a plain black dress and had her hair pulled back in an elegant French twist. He stood there and listened as she talked about his mother and told the rest of the mourners what a difference Carlotta had made in her life. Hearing her speak, Cristian had felt himself soften and started to realize that maybe he had been too hasty. He was just about to walk further into the church and sit beside Antonio when saw Natalie motion to the front pew. He froze when he heard her next words, "My daughters Sydney and Eve also wanted to say a prayer for Carlotta." She had said smiling through her tears as the two small children made their way toward her.

Cristian watched in horror as the two girls took the microphone and recited a small prayer, but his blood started to boil when the dark haired one that looked identical to McBain had the nerve to say, "Goodbye Nana Carlotta, we will miss you."

Nana Carlotta.

McBain's two brats called his mother their nana. This made Cristian furious not only at his mother, but at Natalie and the two kids. So he had taken off, this time consumed with a rage deeper then anything he had experienced.

He needed revenge.

At first his plan was to just kidnap them and make Natalie suffer like he had suffered for years, but then he saw McBain. Cristian had stopped in Maryland on his way back to Llanview and seen John coming out of a hotel room. He had stuck around for a few days and learned that he was working and living there.

This delighted Cristian because now he could kill two birds with one stone and make them both suffer.

So he had gone through with it. Broken in to Natalie's house, kidnapped the girls, took a picture and then drove all the way to Baltimore to stuff it under John's door, before heading headed back to the cabin with the girls.

Having heard that it was possible for children under the age of six to forget everything including their family, Cristian's plan had been to keep them with him for while until they did so. Then once the news died down, abandon them at a shelter as far away from Llanview as possible.

That way, Natalie and John could spend the rest of their miserable lives not knowing what happened to them.

But, those plans had been ruined when they had somehow found out about his cabin. Common sense told him to take off, get as far away from Llanview as possible and start over, but he couldn't do it. Not when they hadn't suffered enough.

So, while being holed up in this motel Cristian spent him time working on a new plan. A plan to make them all suffer.

Since taking their children hadn't work, he would just have to take Natalie.

McBain would be alone, their children would be motherless, and Natalie would be his for as long as he wanted.

They would all suffer.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Chapter Fourteen **

After sleeping in much longer then usual, Natalie and the girls awoke around 10:00 the next morning. Together they sleepily made their way toward the kitchen, but all stopped when they noticed John standing by the stove.

"Hi John," Sydney said quietly clutching her pink teddy bear.

Happy that she was getting over her shyness toward him, John smiled at her. "Morning Sydney, morning Eve. I made some scrambled eggs and bacon for breakfast, but if you girls don't like that I can make something else."

Getting over the shock of seeing John at the stove, Natalie stepped into the kitchen and helped the girls take a seat at the table. "Eggs are fine." Once they were seated, Natalie tightened her robe and after grabbing two cups, she filled them with milk and added a drop of chocolate syrup to each. She brought them over to the girls, then went back and poured herself some coffee.

"You really didn't need to do this," Natalie said as she handed John four plates.

"I wanted to," He said softly as he handed her the girls' two small plates and then they made their way toward the table.

Once they were all seated and eating, John looked over at Natalie. "I called Bo this morning."

"Are their any leads?" She asked vaguely, not wanting to upset the girls anymore.

John shook his head. "Not yet. But, he is sure there will be soon."

Natalie continued eating. "Good, I just want this to be over."

"He gave me my old job back."

The statement came out of nowhere and Natalie dropped her fork in shock. "Chief of Detectives?"

"Yeah. Apparently since Nora is back as the DA and Kevin is the new mayor, it wasn't as much as a problem as it could have been considering how I took off."

"So you're staying?" Natalie asked quietly.

John looked over at her, his face serious. "Yes, I am not going anywhere. The answer to your question from last night is yes I am going to be."

"Going to be what?" Eve's voice interrupted them.

Both Natalie and John turned to look at her, having forgotten the girls were there listening to everything. Natalie recovered quickly and flashed her daughter a smile. "Finish you your breakfast and we'll tell you."

The rest of the meal went quickly and Natalie loaded their plates and forks into the dish washer. "Okay girls, go into the living room, we will be right there." Once they were out of earshot, Natalie focused on John.

"Are you positive about this, John?"

Looking at her with complete seriousness, John nodded. "I stayed up for hours going through those photo albums last night. Looked at pictures of their birthdays, holidays, first day of pre-school and all the other things I have missed. I am all in this Natalie and I am not going to miss anything else."

Blinking back the tears that were forming in her eyes, Natalie gave him a quick hug. "I'm glad. I see how you are with them already John, you going to be an amazing father."

They broke away each with large smiles of their faces. "Come on, let's go tell the girls."

But John's smile suddenly faded as he started to get nervous. "How do we tell them something like that?"

"Let me handle it because if we are not careful the next question we are going to be fielding is where do babies come from and I am not ready for that one."

Still trying to control his nervousness, John didn't even crack a smile and just followed her into the living room. The girls were over at a child-sized table coloring and both looked up when they entered the room.

"Girls, can you come over to the couch please? Mommy needs to talk to you."

Sydney looked over at her sister. "Uh oh, Mommy has that look she gets when we broke something."

"Or when you did something stupid."

Natalie rolled her eyes. "There is no look silly. I am not mad because as far as I know you didn't break anything, and Sydney hasn't had time to do something dangerous. So come sit!"

Standing up, they both went over to the couch and took a seat. Natalie sat in the arm chair across from them, and John took the one on the other side. "The reason I wanted you guys to come sit here is because I have something to tell you."

"Has the bad man been arrested?" Sydney asked.

Natalie shook her head. "Not yet, Sweetie, but Uncle Bo is still working on it.

"Is it about what I asked you and Uncle Mikey yesterday?" Eve chimed in.

"Yes it is."

"What was your question?" Sydney asked turning toward her twin.

"If John was our daddy."

Sydney's eyes widened in shock as she looked between Natalie and John. "What? How can he be our daddy? We just met him…"

"Well, Grandma Vicki and Grandpa Clint are our Grandma and Grandpa because they are Mommy's mommy and daddy and Grandma Eve is Josh and Ryan's Grandma because she is Uncle Mikey's mommy. But Grandma Eve is also our Grandma. And since John is Uncle Mikey's only brother and Grandma Eve is their mommy, then it makes sense." Eve repeated the logic she had presented to Michael the previous day.

"Wow," was all Sydney said, her eyes still wide.

"So is he?" Eve persisted.

Natalie nodded. "Yes girls John is your daddy."

"But why hasn't he been here? Uncle Mike is Josh and Ryan's daddy and he was always here." Eve asked as she glanced over at a still silent John.

Knowing she had to handle this carefully Natalie took a deep breath. "Well girls, your daddy went on a very long trip and no one knew where he was, so when I found out I was having you I couldn't find him to tell him."

Both girls took a minute to think about what she said, Sydney just nodded, but Eve's eyes slightly narrowed. "Well how did you find him now Mommy?"

"She didn't, I found you. I saw the TV with your pictures on it and got back here as fast as I could," John finally spoke.

"Are you leaving again?"

Realizing Eve was one tough five year old, John gave her his most serious look. "Nope. Now that I know I am your Daddy, I am going to live here."

"Does this mean you can play Barbie's with us?" Sydney asked excitedly, "Cause Mommy doesn't do a very good boy voice. And have tea parties too? Because Uncle Rex won't drink the tea."

John laughed. "I'd love to."

Eve was still staring at him through narrowed eyes, finally her face softened. "Can girls play sports in dresses?"

Remembering what he had heard Natalie tell Evangeline about Eve insisting she could, John figured this would be the question that made her either accept or reject him. So he nodded. "I don't see why not, I mean Fred Flintstone used to bowl in one right?"

Obviously he had passed the test with flying colors, as Eve broke into a huge smile. "I think having a daddy is going to be great!" she said to Sydney as the two girls got up and ran over to John.

Throwing their arms around him, they hugged him and John just held on tightly. Suddenly he knew – Natalie had been right, he had nothing to worry about because sitting here holding his daughters was the most natural feeling in the world.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Chapter Fifteen **

The next two weeks flew by quickly as John and Natalie both worked on adjusting to the changes in their lives. Though John easily jumped back into his old job as Chief of Detectives, fixing things with his family hadn't gone as smoothly. While aside from the one slap at the police station Eve seemed to accept John's apology and welcomed her son back with open arms, Michael hadn't been as forgiving. Knowing things needed to be addressed sooner or later John had found out when Michael was off and unexpectedly showed up at the house one afternoon. Michael had tried to brush him off, but John forced the issue and the two brothers ended up spending a few hours talking things over. Things were by no means back to the way they were before, but it seemed with time they would be fine. The nicest thing, however, about the night was that John got to meet his two nephews Josh and Ryan.

As for finding Cristian, despite the dozens of tips there had be no solid leads. John and his team were doing the best they could, but it was as if he had dropped off the face of the earth. Luckily, despite everything Eve and Sydney were adjusting nicely. There were still nights when one of them would wake up screaming from a nightmare, but they were all attending regular sessions with Dr. Crosby and the doctor assured both John and Natalie that with time they would get past the trauma. Both of them were also adjusting well to the news that John was their daddy. There had been a few instances where one of them would come up and ask Natalie a question about his absence, but for the most part they were doing well.

It was Natalie who was having a hard time. It was hard for her to have the girls out of her sight and most nights were spent tossing and turning because the dreams and memories haunted her. At first, they were the memories of the night they went missing and dreams of Cristian coming back and trying again, but as the days passed they turned into memories of the old Cristian and how happy they had been at one time. For Natalie, it was these memories that were the scariest.

It was only John's presence that soothed her. She had meant what she said about not going down the relationship road again, but knowing that he was in the house put her at ease and help reassure her that nothing was going to happen to her girls. In fact, Natalie had decided to start off slow and go to one of her classes for the morning just so she could get used to it and so that John would have an opportunity to spend time alone with the girls. After leaving a long list of numbers, countless instructions and tips, she was finally out the door leaving John in charge for the first time.

So far things had been going well – he had made the girls breakfast, got them dressed and ready and now the three of them were sitting in the living room.

"John will you do something for me?" came Sydney's soft voice.

"Sure, Sydney, what do you want?" John asked turning his attention away from some Disney movie about a company of monsters that he had been watching with Eve.

"Will you come to my tea party?"

John nervously glanced over at Eve who just shrugged. To him, tea parties and dolls were an uncharted territory.

"I don't know, your sister and I are in the middle of this movie…"

"Oh, I don't mind," Eve broke in with a small smile on her face, "go play with Syd."

Sydney looked up at him with hopeful eyes. "Please, Daddy?" she asked. Since it was the first time that she had referred to him that way, John felt himself melt. "Sure Sydney."

John stood up from the couch and let Sydney lead him over to the small pink children's table where there was a plastic teapot, cups and plates.

"You can sit here, Daddy," Sydney said brining him to one of the small chairs. She then pointed to the two teddy bears that occupied the other two chairs. "The pink one is Ella Bear and the brown one is Johnny Bear. They are shy and don't really say much."

John nodded and sat awkwardly on the stool. "So, um, do you want me to pour the tea?" he asked, just wanting to just get this over with.

Sydney shook her head. "Oh no, Daddy, you aren't ready for the tea party yet."

"Ready?" he questioned.

Sydney nodded with a huge smile before running over to the toy box on the other side of the room. She dug around for a few minutes but quickly retuned holding two pink straw hats and some beaded necklaces. "See how pretty Ella and Johnny look in their hats and necklaces? We have to look pretty too."

John's eyes widened. "Sydney I am not really sure if pink is my color…" he began helplessly.

"That's silly Daddy, everyone looks good in pink." Sydney fixed him with her trademark puppy dog look. "Please Daddy?"

In that instant she looked so much like Natalie that John couldn't help but grin. Taking that as a yes, Sydney clapped her hands excitedly together and put a whole bunch of colorful necklaces around his neck and then around her own.

"Now the hat!" she said as she reached up and placed the big pink hat upon his head. "Eve, doesn't the purple bow look good on Daddy?"

Eve looked up from the couch and nodded. "You look pretty, Daddy."

John felt his face flush bright red. Never in a million years had he imagined he'd be called 'pretty.' Grateful that no one else was around to witness his humiliation, he just nodded.

"Can I pour the tea now?" he asked again.

Sydney shook her head. "One more thing!" Reaching into the small pink purse she was carrying, she pulled out a tube of lipstick. "We just need to put this on!" Before John could even protest, Sydney darted over and smeared a bunch of the red glop on his lips. Knowing he probably resembled the Joker from old Batman films; John sighed and forced himself to smile.

"Now, you can pour the tea!" Sydney said with a large smile as she took her seat across from John.

As he lifted up the plastic tea pot and began to pour imaginary tea it dawned on John that these two little girls had him wrapped tightly around their little fingers.

And despite the pink hat and lipstick, he loved it.

After her last class, Natalie practically sped home. She had never had a problem with leaving the girls in the past, but with it being John's first time alone with them and Cristian still being on the loose Natalie found herself slightly paranoid.

"I'm home!" she called out as she opened the door to the house. "I made good time…" Natalie trailed off as her brain processed the scene in front of her --- John sitting at the pink kids table, wearing beaded necklaces, lipstick and a hat holding a plastic teacup to his mouth.

Trying unsuccessfully to bite back the laugh that was bubbling up in her throat, Natalie quickly reached over to the side table near the door and grabbed her camera.

"Smile you two!"

Oblivious to John's embarrassment, Sydney moved her chair beside his and fixed her mother with a wide smile. "Smile, Daddy!"

"Yeah, smile, Daddy!" Natalie echoed, enjoying how red John's face was turning.

John weakly smiled and Natalie took the picture. She couldn't wait to get that one developed. Putting the camera back down, Natalie finally shut the front door and went into the living room.

Looking back over at John, she finally couldn't help it and just burst out in hysterical peels of laughter.

Sydney looked up at her in confusion. "Why are you laughing Mommy? I think Daddy looks pretty."

Natalie took a few deep breaths to control herself and nodded. "Daddy sure does look pretty, but I'm just not used to seeing him look like this."

"Yeah, daddy's not used to it either," John muttered dryly as he started to take off the ridiculous hat.

Sensing his embarrassment, Natalie took a hold of Sydney's small hand. "Girls why don't we go make some cookies and let daddy go back to normal. Does that sound like a good idea?"

"Yeah!" Both girls quickly jumped up and with large smiles ran into the kitchen. Now alone with John, Natalie bit back another smile.

"I warned you that parenthood wasn't going to be easy," she said lightly with a small laugh as she followed their daughters into the kitchen.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Chapter Sixteen **

A few more weeks passed by and John, Natalie and the twins easily settled into a routine. Natalie was going back to class's full time and John for the most part John was arranging his schedule so he could be at home with the girls. John and Natalie were getting along fine, but because of their schedules they didn't see each other much. When they did they mostly talked about the girls or if there had been any progress on finding Cristian – an arrangement which suited Natalie just fine as she wanted to avoid any situations or conversations which led to the memories of their time together.

Because as much as she tried not to let it, having John in the house with her all the time was starting to get to her. Enough that she had already told herself the second Cristian was caught she was going to nicely suggest John start looking for his own apartment.

"Eve, remember we have to go to the hospital and get your cast off today," Natalie yelled after her daughter who was running up the stairs after Sydney and Brennan.

"I know, Mommy!" Eve called back.

With a small smile, Natalie started to work on the task of picking up crayons and toys that the girls had been playing with. With Brennan being only four months older then the twins and living next door, the three cousins were very close. Having grown up without any real family, Natalie of course was happy that her daughters had such strong family relationships, but at times it did make her a bit wistful and she found herself wondering how different her childhood would have been had she not been kidnapped.

Natalie was broken out of her thoughts by the sound of a key turning in the lock. Glancing up at the clock on the wall, Natalie's brow furrowed in concern knowing John wasn't supposed to be back for another few hours. "Hey, everything okay?" she asked once he had joined her in the living room.

John shrugged. "The station was pretty quiet so Bo asked if I could come back and work in the evening instead. Do you think you can find someone to watch Syd while you take Eve to get her cast off?"

Natalie nodded. "If not, I'll just bring her with us." Natalie went back to the task of cleaning up the living room and after shrugging off his jacket, John began to help. "It looks like a tornado swept through here!" He remarked lightly as she began putting the cushions and pillows back on the sofas.

"Brennan's been over since the morning." Natalie laughed. "Let's see, since you left we colored, played three games of Candy Land, watched a movie, had a tea party and now they are upstairs playing either dress-up or with Barbie's."

"Sounds like fun."

Natalie stopped what she was doing and smirked at him, "You mean you're not upset we didn't invite you to the tea party? You got all dressed up and everything for the last one…"

John groaned as he plopped down on the couch. "Natalie, you promised that humiliation would never be brought up again."

"Did I? I don't seem to remember making any promises," she laughed as she took a seat beside him. "So, I've been meaning to ask, are you going to take a trip to Baltimore and get the rest of your things?"

John looked over at her in confusion. "What things?"

"You're stuff. You've been back in Llanview for almost six weeks so I imagine wherever you had been living is looking for a rent payment. I just thought that with everything that's been going on you may have forgotten or something."

"I have everything."

Now it was Natalie who looked confused. "John you came back with only an oversized duffle bag."

He nodded. "That's all I left town with. I put all my stuff in storage." Realizing that it was about time he explained where he had been, John sighed. "I didn't exactly stay in one place after leaving. I moved around every few months, lived in cheap hotels and worked odd jobs mainly for PI firms and bail bondsmen."

Not knowing what to say to that, Natalie just replied with a simple, "Oh."

John shrugged. "I don't think it's a secret that I was pretty messed up after leaving town. I had thought about going back to the FBI or to another police force, but as much as I resented him for saying it, I knew Bo was right – I was a walking time bomb. So, I just moved around."

"Did it help?" Natalie asked gently.

"At the time I didn't think so, but I'm here now and things are different. My mom and I are fine again, and things are better between me and Mike. I have these two amazing daughters…. and well, despite all the stuff I did and said here we are talking and getting along. So yeah, that time away did help."

"What about your dad's case? You were so consumed by it before you left and it's never been solved… can you live with that?" Natalie hating asking but as a mother she needed to. It wasn't about her anymore, but about Sydney and Eve and she needed to know if in six months down the line that old, tortured John would be back.

John took a second before answering but finally shook his head. "Yes I can. I know that I probably will re-open it someday but I'm not going to obsess about it. I've come to realize that I can't keep living in the past. I need to look toward my future. Sydney and Eve are that future… it's not just about me anymore. I have to think about my daughters." John took a deep breath and then turned toward Natalie. "I have to think about you." Without any warning, John pulled her toward him and captured her lips with his.

The kiss was sweet, yet passionate, and Natalie found herself getting into it. She was just about to put her arms around him and move closer when she realized what she was doing.

"No, John." Natalie pushed herself out of the embrace and walked to the other side of the room. "I told you, I'm not going down this road again."

"Natalie…" John tried as he also rose to his feet.

"No!" Natalie said sharply. "For three years I was head over heels in love you. I waited for you to get past Caitlyn and then once you were, I sat by and watched as you slept around with Evangeline. For those same two years all you did was give me mixed signals - touching my hair while telling me you weren't in love with me, yelling things like 'I can't lose another person I love,' kissing me back in the middle of Llanfair. I put up with all that John because I was in love with you. And when we finally got together, I was so happy. Finally, it seemed like all my waiting, all my hoping had paid off – and I actually thought that maybe just maybe I would be able to get my happy ending. And those few months were everything I had hoped for – yeah you never said the words 'I love you' but I was telling the truth when I said I didn't need them. Roxy was an emotionally abusive alcoholic who resented me so I didn't have them growing up and I got used to that."

John felt a pang of guilt and regret hearing her talk about her childhood as no child should grow up like that. "I'm sorry…" he tried, but that just caused Natalie to explode.

"You still don't get it. I never needed words and apologies from you John, I just needed you. The whole time we were together you weren't fully in it because of the Cris secret. Then once that came out, all I got was 'I'm sorry.' Did you ever try and explain it? No. Try and win me back? No. You just walked away without another look. But stupid me still continued to care. I tried to be your friend, tried to get past the secrets and the hurt, but then you pushed me away. I spent three years giving you chance after chance John. Waiting for you, making excuses for you --- and continuing to pick myself up every time you hurt me. No. There is no way I am going through that again. I meant what I said the other night, a part of me will always love you because of the two amazing girls you gave me, but that's it. That chapter of my life is closed."

With those final words, Natalie turned away from him and went over toward the stairs. "Girls it's time to take Brennan back to Aunt Jess's house." She called as she began to climb the stairs needing to put distance between her and John.

When she finally got the girls ready and brought them back downstairs, John was gone.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Chapter Seventeen **

"Mommy, do you think Uncle Mikey will let me keep my cast?" Eve asked as she and Natalie walked down the hospital hallway. It was around 5pm and they were on their way to meet Michael so that he could take off Eve's cast. Thought of her and John's earlier encounter was still on her mind, but she was trying hard to act normal for her daughters sake.

Natalie scrunched her face up in a slight look of disgust. "Why would you want that Honey? It's been on your arm for over month and I don't think it's going to look, or smell that pleasant when it comes off."

"Because I want to put it in water and see what happens."

Natalie laughed at Eve's curious nature. "How about you ask Uncle Mike if you can use the sink in the hospital room. That way he can clean up the mess."

"Okay, Mommy."

"Are you nervous about getting the cast off?" Natalie asked knowing that like both her and John, Eve tended to keep her fears and worries bottled up inside.

Eve shook her head. "Nope."

"Not even a bit sweetie? I mean it's okay to be scared…"

"I know Mommy; I am scared of things like spiders but, not about getting the cast off because there is a good reason not to be."

She sounded so sure of herself and confident that Natalie had to ask, "Why's that, Eve?"

"Because Uncle Mikey is going to take it off. And Uncle Mikey is a doctor just like I want to be and Doctors help people not hurt them." Natalie thought briefly to the disaster that was Paige Miller and Spencer Truman, but she quickly pushed those thoughts away and smiled reassuringly at her daughter. "That's right."

"Plus, Uncle Mikey loves me, so I know he won't hurt me. Just like I know when you say you won't let me drop off the monkey bars I believe you and when Daddy says he will catch the bad man that took us so I trust him."

Though surprised that Eve was referring to how they had been taken by Cristian, Natalie kept her face impassive. The girls were continuing to attend weekly therapy sessions with Dr. Crosby, but mostly the sessions were a way to reassuring the girls that they were safe and that they hadn't done anything wrong that made them targets. The Doctor had explained to John and Natalie that it was best to let them talk about what had happened on their own, rather than push them. So, that's what they were doing – remaining patient and not trying to find out what had happened while they were with him.

"And he will."

"Mommy?"

"Yes, Eve?"

"I was really scared that night."

Suddenly not caring if they were late for the appointment or not, Natalie led her daughter over to a bench and sat down beside her. "So was I."

"That man was so angry Mommy. He just kept yelling and screaming at Sydney and me that we weren't supposed to be around and how daddy ruined everything and was to blame for this."

This time Natalie couldn't control the surprise look that came onto her face, "Is that how you figured out John was your daddy?"

Eve shook her head. "No, he never said daddy's name. It just made sense to me that he was because of Uncle Mike and Grandma Eve. But why would he say those things Mommy? Did daddy do something wrong?"

Knowing this was going to be a very hard question to answer, Natalie sighed. Finally she decided to be as honest as she could. "No daddy didn't do anything wrong. You see, that man that took you is named Cristian Vega – and he was Nana Carlotta's other son."

Now, it was Eve who looked surprised. "Nana Carlotta's son?"

Natalie nodded. "Yes. You see, a long time before you and Syd were born Mommy and him were really good friends. He was very different back then – a very nice and kind person. But then he did some very bad things so I stopped being friends with him."

"Bad things like how Josh ripped the heads off me and Syd's Barbies?"

Natalie smiled softly, "A little bit worse then that. But right around the time I stopped being friends with him, I met your daddy and we became friends. That made him very mad and he blamed your daddy for the fact I wasn't his friend anymore."

"But he was a bad person."

"I know, but he didn't see it that way. And after Daddy went on that long trip I told you about, he came to me and tried to be friends again. But when I said no, he got very angry and said it was daddy's fault and then took off. That was the last time I saw him."

Eve took a second to absorb everything. "So did he take us to get back at you and daddy?" she finally asked.

"I think so sweetie. But no matter how angry someone is, that is no excuse to do bad things."

"Mommy, do you think he will come back and try and take us again?" Eve asked, now seeming slightly nervous.

"No. Uncle Bo and Daddy are doing everything they can to find him and put him and jail – and just between you and me, your daddy is the best police man I have ever met. Eve, did that man say or do anything else when he had you?" Natalie asked gently.

Eve shook her head. "No, he just yelled a lot and then locked us in that room. I was trying to be brave and help Syd, but he was really scary. You remember that man who used to take care of Grandpa Asa's cabin? The one Syd and I were scared off?"

Natalie nodded, remembering how both girls had been terrified of Bill when he worked for Asa. "Yup."

"Well, he looked like Bill, except scarier."

Natalie's eyes widened in shock and horror, but she quickly forced herself to act normal. "Well, he's not going to hurt you ever again. And you know Mommy is always here right? Same with Daddy. If you get scared or want to talk, you just come to us."

Eve nodded and jumped to her feet. "I know Mommy, now let's go get my cast off."

Forcing a smile, Natalie nodded and led Eve toward the room where Michael had told them to meet him. Once she was all settled, Natalie excused herself and ran for the doors to get outside. Their earlier fight forgotten, she pulled out her cell phone and frantically dialed John with shaking hands.

He answered on the second ring, and Natalie didn't even wait for him to say hello before starting to speak. "He's changed his appearance."

"What?" came John's confused reply.

"Cristian. Eve finally opened up and told me about that night, but she said he was scary because he looked like Bill."

"Bill?"

"He's used to be the caretaker… wait that's not important. What is is that Bill was about 200 pounds, with hair past his shoulders and a beard. If that's how Cristian is looking these days, then he could be anywhere and no one would recognize the pictures of him. Hell, I don't even know if I would recognize him. Oh god, John, he could be anywhere in town, he could even be at the hospital watching us…." Natalie's voice was rising in panic.

"Okay Natalie calm down… Where is Eve?"

"Inside with Michael."

"And do you have Syd with you?"

"No, I left her with Jess and Nash." Natalie said with a shaky breath.

"Okay and where are you now?"

"Just outside the hospital."

"Okay, now listen to me. I want you to go back inside and stay with Michael and Eve. Do not move until I get there. I am on my way."

"Okay…" Natalie said as she ended the call. Still shaking she began to put the phone back in her purse, but swore under her breath as it dropped from her hands and spilled out all over the ground.

Frantically she began to gather what was important, but froze in horror as she heard the all too familiar voice behind her. "Need some help?"


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Chapter Eighteen **

"Need some help?"

Natalie was just about to open her mouth and scream when she felt the cold metal barrel of a gun being pressed to the back of her head. "Stand up very slowly and do not make a scene."

Knowing she had no choice, Natalie did as he said and rose to her feet. Once she was in a standing position she felt Cristian grab her arm and roughly yank her around so she was facing him the gun now pointing at her. "Hello, Natalie."

Shaking with panic, Natalie remained silent. As she stood there looking at him she was shocked at how much he had changed. Eve had been right, with the weight gain, the hair growth and the beard he was scary looking, but what Natalie noticed the most were his eyes. Those brown eyes that once looked at her with love and hope were now cold and angry.

"Have you missed me?" Cristian asked as he started to run his free hand up and down her arm. But when Natalie cringed and disgust, he suddenly lost it and roughly pushed her backwards and Natalie fell to the ground. "Still the same cold bitch you always were. With McBain back in town and living in your house, I bet you're spreading your legs for him every chance you get. It was always him wasn't it Natalie? I mean all the way back to the second he walked into Crossroads you wanted him. It didn't matter that you were wearing my ring, or that we were about to get married, you wanted him. DIDN'T YOU? ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION."

"That's not true Cris…" But Cristian stormed over and slapped hard her across the face. "YES IT IS, ADMIT IT."

"Fine, I wanted him." Natalie choked out through her tears. "It's always been him,"

Seeming satisfied with this answer, Cristian walked back to where he had been standing and kept the gun trained on a cowering Natalie. "Of course it's always been him. That's why you kept his brats. The thought of you having even one spawn of him was bad enough, but you had two. THOSE WERE SUPPOSED TO MY KIDS! WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE A FAMILY. YOU RUINED THAT NATALIE. YOU AND HIM AND THOSE BRATS RUINED IT."

"Sydney and Eve had nothing to do with that." Natalie said keeping her voice steady. "My daughters never did anything to you."

"Oh, they didn't?" Cristian eye's flashed. "They are all I ever heard about when I called my mother. MY OWN FUCKING MOTHER NATALIE. THE WOMAN THAT GAVE BIRTH TO ME AND ALL SHE CAN TALK ABOUT IS MCBAINS BASTARD CHILDREN." He laughed dangerously. "But that didn't get to me. I could deal with that. Do you want to know what really got to me Natalie? What really made my blood boil?" When Natalie stayed silent he got right into her face. "DO YOU?"

"What?" she asked weakly.

"The day I walked into my mother's funeral only to find HIS CHILDREN CALLING HER NANA! SHE WAS MY MOTHER NATALIE."

"The girls loved Carlotta…."

"THEY HAD NO RIGHT TO." Cristian began pacing back and forth. "That was when I realized you all needed to pay. You for not getting rid of those brats when you had the chance, them for being born and HIM FOR RUINING MY LIFE AND TAKING WHAT BELONGED TO ME."

"I never belonged to you, Cristian," Natalie said trying to reason with him.

"YES YOU DID. YOU WERE MY WIFE AND HE LOCKED ME AWAY IN PRISON AND TOOK YOU AWAY FROM ME. He had no right to do that Natalie. You were mine."

Seeing the crazed look in her ex-husbands eyes, Natalie knew she needed to control both her anger and fear. "I'm sorry Cris…" she tried, but he just burst into peals of crazed laughter that had Natalie freezing in panic.

The laughter abruptly stopped and he looked at her with a terrifyingly evil smile. "But it's okay Natalie, I'm here now and once again you are all mine."

After speeding to the hospital, John illegally parked his car at the front of the building and ran through the hospital hallways ignoring the protests of the countless nurses that yelled after him. Holding up his badge at a nearby orderly, he frantically yelled "What room do they take off casts in?"

Both shaken and confused, the orderly pointed down the hall. "Room 300, Lieutenant."

Without even bothering to thank him, John sprinted toward it and burst through the doors keeping one hand lightly clutching his gun. He was met by the shocked faces and Eve and Michael who turned to stare at him.

"Daddy, what are you doing here?" Eve asked oblivious to her father's worry.

Looking around and not seeing Natalie. John was filled with a feeling of panic. "I just decided to come say hi to Uncle Mike," He turned to Michael with a desperate look. "Has Natalie been in here?" His voice may have been calm but Michael could easily tell John was shaken.

"Not since she dropped Eve off here. She said she had to make a phone call…."

"She never came back?" John interrupted.

Michael shook his head and walked closer to his brother. "What's going on, John?"

"Does this door lock?"

"Yes, why?"

"I need you to lock this door behind me and stay with Eve until I get back."

Michael opened his mouth to question it, but John waved him off. "I don't have time to answer questions." He forced a reassuring smile at Eve. "I think Mommy went down to the cafeteria so I am going to go get her. You stay here with Uncle Mike okay?"

Satisfied that Eve and Michael were safe, John rushed from the room and toward the parking lot Natalie had called from praying he wasn't too late.

"What do you mean?" Natalie asked her voice shaking.

"Exactly what I said, I am here now so you're all mine again."

Natalie backed further against the brick wall as Cristian kept the gun trained on her. "Cristian, my daughters need me…" she tried to reason, but that just seemed to make him angrier.

"YOU ARE MINE NATALIE, NOT HIS."

"Drop the gun, Cris." John's steady voice demanded from the side. Looking over Natalie saw him standing there with his gun trained on Cristian.

Cristian also looked over and his eyes narrowed as he took in John. "I should have figured MCBAIN HERE WOULD SHOW UP."

"There is no need for this to get ugly. Just put the gun down Cris and we can talk about this."

"TALK?" Cristian once again laughed hysterically. "There is no need for talking. I've gotten what I came for."

"And what's that?" John asked calmly thought he had an idea what the answer would be.

"Natalie."

"Cris you know that's not gong to happen. You're not going anywhere with Natalie so just put the gun down."

Suddenly Cristian's face contorted into a crazed smile. "If I can't have her, no one will."

As soon as the words were out, John knew what the other man was thinking. With a yell of "No," John rushed out in front of Cristian just as the gun went off.

Natalie screamed at John fell to the ground in front of her and she fell to her knees in front of him.

"John," she cried as she watched the blood begin to seep from his stomach.

"Get up." Cristian demanded coldly.

Noticing John's gun lying in front of her Natalie made a grab for it and fired. Despite never having shot a gun in her life, she managed to empty the entire clip into Cristian. She watched as he fell backward on to the pavement and did not move. Throwing the gun to the ground the tears began to fall as she looked back at John.

"John," Natalie cried as she pressed her hands to his stomach and applied pressure to where the bullet had hit. "John you have to hold on. HELP, SOMEBODY HELP ME." Natalie screamed through her tears.

"Natalie…" John tried to gasp out.

"Shhh." Natalie said with a forced smile. "Help will be here soon. HELP ME PLEASE," she screamed again.

"Natalie… tell…. Tell the girls… tell them… that I love them…"

"John you're going to tell them yourself once your all better," Natalie said as her body began to shake with sobs.

"Nat…Natalie..."

"Shhh, John you're going to be okay. You have to be. The girls need you…. I need you…" She whispered through the tears.

"You… you need to know…." John choked out, "I…. al..always…. lov..loved… you." Once the words were finally out, John's head slumped back and his eyes closed.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Chapter Nineteen **

"You… you need to know…." John choked out, "I…. al..always…. lov..loved… you." Once the words were out, John's head slumped back and his eyes closed.

Natalie found herself grow hysterical as John's body went limp, but luckily a team of doctors and nurses rushed out just as she began to lose it. Within seconds John was lifted onto a stretcher. One of the nurses came over to Natalie and tried asking her usual set of questions but all Natalie could do was point to Cristian's dead body and mutter, "Call the police." Then she weakly made her way into the hospital as the shock began to take over.

As if in a daze Natalie walked through the ER hallways and bumped into Marcie.

"Natalie? Oh my God, Natalie are you hurt?" Marcie asked in a rush as she took in the other woman's bloodstained clothes and tearstained cheeks.

Natalie just numbly shook her head, "John," she choked out as the tears began to fall. Suddenly, Natalie started to sway and Marcie quickly led her over to a bench. Through the sobs she managed to tell Marcie the basics of what had happened. Once she was finished, Marcie's eyes were wide with shock but she quickly took control of the situation.

"Natalie look at me. You need to calm down – John needs you to be strong." Natalie's tears slowly began to subside and she nodded weakly.

"Here take this." Marcie said as she took off the oversized Llanview University sweater she was wearing. "I'll go and find Michael and let him know what happened, and then I will drop Eve off at Jessica and Nash's place okay? I'll just tell the girls you got called into work."

Realizing that she was covered in John's blood, Natalie took a shaky breath and took the sweater from Marcie. "Okay," she whispered.

Marcie took a deep breath as she knocked on the examining room door. "Michael, it's me Marcie."

The door was quickly opened to reveal a worried looking Michael. Marcie looked past him and found Eve sitting in one of the hospital chairs looking at them alertly. "Hey, Aunt Marcie." She said with a smile.

"Hey Eve – your mom got called into work and she asked me to come and take you to your Aunt Jessica's. That okay with you?" Marcie asked cheerfully trying to act normally.

Eve's face broke out into a wide grin. "Cool!" she said excitedly. "When Syd and I stay over at Aunt Jess's, she lets Brennan and us stay up late and watch movies!"

Marcie smiled at Eve. "Well, then I guess it's a good thing your mom got called into work."

Michael stood back and watched the exchange between his wife and niece trying to mask the fear that was overtaking him. He could tell Marcie was lying and figured something has happened in the standoff between Cristian, John and Natalie.

"You're probably needed at the nurse's station," Marcie said softly as she kissed her husband goodbye and led Eve toward the east exit. Once the two of them were out of sight, Michael all but sprinted to the ER entrance but stopped cold when he saw a pale looking Natalie taking to Bo and a covered body being lifted onto a stretcher.

Natalie met his gaze and weakly shook her head – a gesture which gave Michael the strength to walk over toward her and Bo.

"Cristian's dead," Natalie said turning away from Bo to face him, "John's been taken into surgery- he was shot and no one has told me anything." Just saying the words had Natalie breaking into a fresh round of sobs and Bo quickly pulled her into an embrace.

"I'll go see what I can find out," Michael said softly as he turned toward OR.

Three hours later John was still in surgery with the prognosis unknown and Natalie and Michael sat side by side waiting.

"I love him, Michael." Natalie finally said, her voice soft "Even after all these years I still love him. I can't lose him, I need him."

Michael put an arm around her. "John's one of the strongest men I know, Natalie. He'll pull through this."

But a fresh wave of tears began to well yup in the corners of her eyes as she looked toward the operating room. "You don't understand, Michael, earlier today he asked me for another chance and I said no. I told him that all he had ever done was hurt me and I wouldn't go through it all again. I told him I didn't love him. I lied Michael… and… what if he… he dies not knowing the truth?" Natalie asked as she began to sob.

"He's not going to die Natalie…" Michael tried but she quickly cut him off as she jumped to her feet.

"You don't know that. I never thought Cristian would die two days after our wedding, and I sure as hell never thought he would come back – let alone twice." She said as she paced around the waiting room. "But he did. And I never thought he would become a monster who would try and kill me and my children, but he did. I never thought Jen, Al, Ben, or Duke would die either, but they all did. So you can't sit here and reassure me that everything is going to be all right because you don't know that." Her voice was a mixture of hysteria and anger, but Michael didn't take it personally. Getting up he drew her into an embrace and held her as she cried. "I know how you feel Natalie – up until last week I was treating John like shit. But I know my brother – he's been shot before and he WILL pull through this."

Michael was still holding her when the Doctor who was treating John made his way into the waiting room, followed by Eve and Bo. Once they were all gathered around him, he began to speak.

"The surgery went well. We were able to get the bullet out and repair the damage done by it to his abdomen. However, during surgery his heart stopped twice due to the strain of the surgery and the blood loss. As a result of that John has slipped into a coma."

Eve's eyes filled with tears as she stumbled backward into Bo's arms, but Natalie remained silent. It was Michael who took charge and asked the one question that was on everyone's mind. "How bad is it?"

"Honestly, Michael, we can't be sure at this time. Because of the flat-lining your brother did lose oxygen, only there's no way of telling how much. Just like with any coma, the next forty-eight hours are crucial." Offering a small smile, the Doctor excused himself and left the four of them alone.

"Michael honey, please be straight with us…. What are his chances?" Eve asked between sobs as she looked at her son with pleading eyes.

With a sigh, Michael turned toward his mother. "I don't know Mom. I really don't know."

Unable to take this waiting anymore, Natalie weakly mumbled "I have to see him," before taking off toward John's hospital room.


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Chapter Twenty  
**  
It had been twenty-four hours since the shooting and Natalie had hardly moved from John's bedside. Her family had urged her to go home and rest, but each time she refused with the claim that this is where she belonged. The girls were still with Jessica, and at Natalie's insistence were being kept in the dark about John's condition – at least for now.

It was well into the night and both Eve and Michael had gone home, leaving Natalie alone with John. She had spent most of the time just sitting there, staring at him as she prayed for him to wake up. But when that didn't work she decided to try talking to him. Moving the chair closer to his bedside, Natalie brushed the hair from his face and smiled down at him.

"I've never told anyone this – let alone you, but before Vegas I was attracted to you. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't stand you with your smug, arrogant attitude – but I wanted you. You came off as rough and dangerous, which was exactly the type of crowd I ran with in AC." Natalie sighed before continuing, "I was happy and in love with Cristian, but there was always this part of me that felt like I was out of place with him and with my family. I wasn't soft, caring and well-mannered like Jessica or my mom but instead was loud, reckless and sometimes just outright bitchy. That was the real me, but once I became closer to my family and fell in love with Cris, I forced myself to change. Figured I had to be like Jessica to be loved unconditionally – which was exactly what I was doing when you showed up."

Standing up she moved over to the window and turned away from where John lay. "But being around you reminded me of who I really was. I didn't have to be polite or caring, I could just say what was on my mind, and do what I wanted to. And having that freedom, seeing that side of me that had been hidden for so long, made me want you. Plus, you weren't bad to look at either." Natalie said with a light laugh before turning serious again. "And then Vegas happened and I tried to hate you – tried to think of you as the jerk that got my Cristian killed, but you were still there. When my family was telling me to let go or to try and be happy, you continued to let me feel whatever emotions I needed to. With you I could cry, laugh, or be angry – hell you even let me take shots verbally and physically at you. But no matter what I could just be me." With a sigh she turned back toward him. "That's why I fell in love with you. You never tried to change me or make me into a different person."

"Liked…. You… way… you…are." The voice was so soft and weak that at first Natalie thought she must be dreaming. But when she saw John struggling to open his eyes, Natalie's breath caught in her throat.

"You're awake!" Realizing that she had to get someone, Natalie rushed toward the door and began yelling for a doctor or nurse. Just before they ran in, she looked back at him and smiled, a few tears beginning to stream down her cheeks. Natalie opened her mouth to speak but suddenly unsure of what to say, she just closed her mouth and moved aside to let the doctors in.

The next few hours passed in a blur as John was taken off for various tests to ensure everything was fine. Both Eve and Michael had rushed back to the hospital to visit with him, so Natalie decided to head home and see the girls and fill them in on everything that had happened.

Sitting them both down, Natalie calmly explained that Cristian had been killed. She went into as little detail as possible, but made sure they both knew he would never be able to hurt them again. She also told that that John had been injured - again not going into specifics – but that he was all right and they could go visit with him. Despite their young age, both girls took the news well and quickly rushed to get dressed, needing to see for themselves that their father was all right.

After a quick breakfast, the three of them headed to the hospital and made their way toward John's room. At first the girls hesitated in the doorway, as if afraid to go but when John said, "I was wondering when I would get to see my girls." Both Sydney and Eve ran toward his beside calling out "Daddy!"

After reminding them that Daddy was still sore from his injuries, Natalie got the two of them settled in chairs and watched with a smile as they excitedly told John all about their two day sleep over with Brennan. They sat there talking to him for nearly a half hour before Sydney leaned over and kissed his cheek. "Thanks, Daddy."

John smiled weakly, but was confused. "For what?"

"For being our daddy. You kept your promise and made sure the bad man would never hurt us. I love you, Daddy."

"I love you, too, Daddy." Eve piped in.

It was such a sweet moment that Natalie found herself grow emotional thinking of how close they had all come to losing John. The tears began to well up in the corners of her eyes, and looking over she noticed the same was happening to John. Luckily, Eve chose that moment to enter the room and Natalie quickly pushed the thoughts away. "I heard a rumor that my two favorite granddaughters were in here."

"Grandma don't be silly, we're your only two granddaughters!" Sydney said with a laugh as she went over to hug Eve.

"Well, that's what makes you my favorites!" Knowing that Natalie would want some time alone with John, Eve smiled at the two girls. "How about if I take you girls down to the cafeteria and get you some ice cream?"

Both girls were delighted with the prospect of ice cream before lunch and eagerly followed their grandmother out of the room. Once they were alone, Natalie moved from her place at the window and took on the seats vacated by the girls beside John.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I've been shot." John said with a small laugh, but then winced at the pain.

But the light joke had all that emotion stirring in Natalie and soon she was in tears. "I thought I had lost you. I really thought you were gone for good this time."

With effort, John leaned over and put his hand over hers. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I love you." After the words were out, Natalie looked up and met his eyes. "Almost losing you made me realize that I was lying to myself. I've always loved you and I never stopped. And I know I said we were over, but I was wrong. I want us to start over. I want us to be a family. God, I can't lose you again, please tell me it's not to late for us."

Both shocked and delighted by Natalie's outburst, John silenced her by bringing a finger to her lips. "It will never be too late for us. I love you, too."

One Year Later

Hearing the shrill BING of the timer, Natalie looked anxiously at John, a small smile playing on her lips.

"Ready?" She asked.

"Ready!"

With tightly clasped hands, the two of them entered their bathroom and went over to the counter. Looking at each other one last time, they both looked down at the pregnancy test that lay there and then back at one another – their smiles wide.

It was positive.

Before Natalie even realized what was happening, John had pulled her into a tight embrace and captured her lips with hers. When they broke free he beamed down at her. "I love you so much, Mrs. McBain."

"And I love you, Mr. McBain."

Once again they kissed, but this time it was sweet and slow as if a promise of a new beginning for them as a family. One where all the painful memories of the past were simply… gone.


End file.
